The Razzberry

This is the part where I tell you what's wrong with public education...

2010-06-16T09:38:00.003-04:00

I’ve been thinking. Yesterday I heard a story on NPR’s UNC station that North Carolina ranks 46th in the nation in terms of how many high school freshmen graduate with a diploma in 4 years. Our statewide average is 58% - down from last year. To me, this is tragic and so, as is natural in the course of trying to understand tragedy, I find myself wondering why. Why is it that over 40% of students are unable to meet the basic graduation requirements?

Here is the upsetting, underscoring fact: what you need to do to graduate is not exceedingly difficult. In fact, even the most basic requirements are often overlooked. Attendance, for example. Our handbook says that student must attend school at least 150 days. That means they can miss 30 days of school, which is equivalent to SIX WEEKS of classes, and have every expectation of progressing towards graduation with little more than a bunch of letters from the school social worker reminding you of the importance of school. The kicker is that even the 30 days is not upheld with any fidelity. I know of a student who missed over 45 days this year…and had another 45 or so tardies on top. This child missed out of some/half of the instruction day for half the school year and faced no consequences. How can we then expect students to value education?

The fact of the matter is that the dropout rate has a crippling effect on policy administration. Stakeholders are so afraid of pushing students to the point that they drop out that they – the stakeholders - are, instead, overly accommodating and, as a result, render themselves so impotent as to be useless in any authoritative capacity. Having undercut their own authority, there is no viable power structure in place. In such a vacuum of authority, students run rampant, fighting, having sex in bathrooms (and wherever else), bullying, buying/selling/using drugs on campus, and committing all manner of other disruptive and destructive behavior.

The problem is that education has backed itself into a corner wherein there are two choices: 1.) Go all Joe Clark and implement bombastic reforms that effectively disenfranchise 40% (or more) of the student population by saying “It’s my way or the highway.” Or…2.) Turn a blind eye to state and federal rules, regulations and requirements in order to “enable” students to participate in their education on their own adolescent and uninformed terms and as much as they feel like it.

Truly, it’s a tough choice, but the consequences are even tougher. Option one leaves us with a seemingly rag-tag group of “survivors” of public education. Like soldiers, they have fought their way through exams, reports, standardized tests and the endless, inexhaustible beurocratic red tape that is the glue that holds public institutions together. They have been subjected to expectations with which they have struggled, doggedly conquered and eventually succeeded. Hopefully, they have learned not only their subject matter, but also untold volumes about their character and capabilities. Hopefully, they are empowered to continue their education in an even more rigorous setting. The opportunity cost here, however, would be staggering: hundreds of thousands of kids not graduating from high school. Oh wait…that’s already happening.

Option two furnishes us with a class of students who have graduated and “earned” a diploma as a matter of course, and not because they necessarily did anything to deserve it. Like inmates at a supermax, they’ve done their time and are ready to be unleashed on society with little realistic expectation of having changed at all since they went “inside.” They know they’d have been paroled eventually, so long as they’ve kept their noses relatively clean and didn’t do anything too terrible. Why? Because “the system” would rather quietly push them along the path of least resistance and then eventually quietly release them when nobody’s looking. Why? Because it’s easier to push them through than to actually fight to educate them (yes – it’s often a fight) and because, seriously, who wants to deal with that kid for ANOTHER YEAR? I wish I was joking, here. I’m not. I have experienced this first hand. Many, many times. And, for the record, I teach 5th grade. Imagine how irrevocably fucked up they are by the end of high school. This system devalues the diploma for all students, regardless of how much they have worked and learned. If I can spend 4 years in AP classes and carry an unweighted GPA of close to 4.0 and get the same credential as a person who never did a paper, failed every exam and was absent from school for a total of six weeks, what is the point?? I know, I know…college. But this isn’t about college. This is about the value of a diploma.

At this point, I’m fairly certain I know what you’re thinking. “Am I hearing this from a TEACHER?? The torch-bearer of optimism and enlightenment? How can she be so callous?” And I guess I am. But no more so than life itself. In choosing option #2, we have systematically devalued the high school diploma. If anybody can get it, just for showing up, it no longer represents any kind of achievement or skill set or academic standards. Essentially, it’s been relegated to a certificate of attendance. And I think you’d be hard-pressed to argue that point. It is common knowledge that a diploma won’t get you very far anymore. There are very, very few jobs available to those for whom a diploma is the nexus of their formal education. Of the few jobs available, you’d be hard-pressed to find one that pays a living wage. Gone are the golden days of fruitful opportunity where you could get your diploma, go out and get a job, and then work for The Company for 30 or 40 years until you retired comfortably with your stay-at-home wife. Like its depictions on the silver screen, those days are now relegated to the Sunday afternoon matinee on the American Movie Classics network.

While those of us who work have been doggedly working and those of us who yacht have been doggedly yachting, the American middle class has been slowly disappearing. The world for which we have worked all these years to prepare students contains a slimmer and slimmer margin of people who can honestly call themselves “middle class.” We are careening at a break-neck speed toward a new feudal system where corporations are the fief-holders and either you’re in or you’re out. Literally. You either design software for Apple or you clean their corporate bathrooms. Entry-level jobs for which you need nothing beyond a diploma are few and hard to find. And, because of our current economic crisis (created, by the way, by the need for everybody to live like a rock star), people with all kids of degrees – advanced and not – are competing with diploma-holders for the same jobs. It’s not really even fair to call it a competition.

As has been said for years, our educational system is preparing for students for a world that no longer exists and we aren’t even doing a very good job of it. It isn’t even that we’re no longer an agrarian society or a manufacturing society or even an information society. We are a wealth society. Our standard of living has changed, and everybody wants to be “upper class.” “Rich” is the new normal. But that does not and will not come without the exclusion of some people – lots of people. For somebody to be on the top there has to be people underneath them. For the rich to dine out at fancy restaurants, there has to be waiters and waiters to serve them, busboys to clean their tables, prep cooks to julienne their carrots.

I’m not saying I like this system at all. In fact, my family is perilously perched on what remains of the middle class (or, if I’m being honest, the lower middle class) lifestyle. I’m also no saying that there is no dignity in honest hard work. Nothing could be further from the truth. People should be revered and respected for their work, whatever their job or education. Every job (except for maybe middle management…hehe, just kidding) serves a purpose and has value. As a teacher, I am painfully aware of how undervalued hard, dirty-hands work is and, compared with many, my job is a walk in the park.

But this is the system we have collectively chosen as a society. Good, bad or otherwise, it is what it is. As educators, we are duty-bound to prepare students to navigate this system and to educate and empower them to work to change it if they don’t like it. A high school diploma simply won’t do it anymore. We have to stop viewing high school graduation as an end-point. It must be viewed as another stop along the way through life-long education. We must stop looking for the end. There is no end. The answer to the age old question that every teacher hears at least 100 times a day, “Are we done yet?” is simple: “No…we’re not done. We never will be. Let’s get back to work.”

Life's a Beach!

2010-06-13T19:14:00.000-04:00

Yesterday morning we were laying in bed trying to figure out what to do for the day. It was the first unofficial day of summer vacation. Unofficial because we technically have to go to school on Monday, though both of us are finished cleaning and packing for the year. But, because we haven’t accrued enough “annual leave” time, we have to work on Monday. Anyway, the important thing here is that we only have to show up for work on Monday. We don’t actually have to do anything once there. In fact, I’ll be watching DVDs all day on my Smart Board.

Anyway, since there was no school work to be done this weekend, and since it’s our last weekend home as a family (the boys and I will be leaving for 5 weeks in MI next Saturday morning), we decided we needed to do something fun (and, more importantly, inexpensive) as a family. It was at that exact moment that we received a text message from a friend saying that that she and her husband and two kids were going to the beach for the day and asking if we wanted to tag along. Our decision was sealed immediately, and we began to gather the necessary trappings for a day at the beach. We packed all the water and swimming gear, drinks and snacks and a couple of chairs and were ready to go within 30 minutes.

It was a little different than our last visit to the same place – Carolina Beach. When we went in April, we were lucky enough to have the use of a mid-century, beach-front house, affectionately named “Nana’s Beach House” for 4 days and 3 nights. It was a great place to stay and we had a ton of fun while we were there. Amazingly, as we pulled up to the stoplight by the boardwalk at Carolina Beach, Sam looked out the window and yelled, “Yes! We’re going back to the beach house!” We had to explain to him that we weren’t going to the beach house, just to the beach. He could not fathom how we would go to the beach with no beach house. The answer is paid parking, public restrooms and no shade or A/C to be found. The water, however, was the nicest I have ever experienced in all my years of visiting the Outer Banks. It was so warm that it was almost not refreshing in the overwhelming heat. I said, “almost.” It was fantastic!

When the boys were sufficiently sun-baked and nearing dehydration, we packed up our stuff and hauled it back up the boardwalk to the showers. After a quick rinse, we trudged back to the car and headed home. All told, we actually spent more time in the car than at the beach, but it was worth it. This time next week, we’ll be back in MI for the summer and daddy will be here, punching a time card at the Fayetteville Observer every night to put together one of the sports pages.

Not painful but distinctly uncomfortable

2010-05-23T12:35:00.003-04:00

Okay. So, it turns out that looking back over your old blog postings is a lot like looking back at your junior high yearbook. You ask a lot of the same questions:

What was I thinking??
What was I doing??
Why did I wear that??

You also make a lot of very clever observations, such as wow, I can't believe I thought people would want to see/know that. And also, wow, I can't believe I was willing to say/write that. It's the mental equivalent of looking at pictures of yourself in braces. With mismatched earrings that you wore that way on purpose. Not painful, but distinctly uncomfortable.

I've come a long way since I started this thing 5 years ago. For one thing, I had a baby. And then, in a magnificent display of astonishingly bad judgment, I had another one two years later TO THE DAY. I love Pete, but that was just a dumb thing to do.

What else? I finished my second college degree. (Again, dumb. I will never have all my student loans paid off) I got a teaching job and moved to the worst part of NC. (No offense to those of you who love it here. People who live in the desert love it there too and you won't see me there any time soon either.) We have no mountains, no beach, no fun city things to do. We do have heat (ugh), fire ants (ouch) and a big ass Army base. And not much else.

The best news I have to offer is only good news for us teachers. School will be out in 3 weeks. 12 1/2 days, specifically. And then my sanity will slowly begin to seep back into my skull only slightly impeded by the madness brought on by sharing a house with two preschool-aged boys.

2008-03-17T20:21:00.003-04:00

Happy Feet! (plus one bonus photo)

2008-02-07T19:14:00.001-05:00

We have achieved a level of greatness as parents that we had not previously thought possible

2008-01-30T18:00:00.001-05:00

Tonight, Sam ate a complete and balanced meal for dinner which included beef stroganoff, peas and fruit juice. Next on my agenda? Splitting the atom...

Some new pictures

2008-01-27T15:13:00.000-05:00

Lately Sam has been showering with Owen at night before bed - which he hates. He cries through a lot of it. So, to ease the pain we have bought him a new special toothbrush just for the shower (He is a HUGE fan of oral hygiene) and also let him snuggle up in our bed to watch Sesame Street when it's all over. It's not a perfect solution, but it does dull the pain a little bit.

Sam decided to take a close up look at the edge of the coffee table. Very close up. After that his bruise turned green. That was attractive.

Sam's got mad skills when it comes to batting practice. We actually have forked out the $4 to buy him a bat since this picture was taken, and have put the table leg back on the Lego table.

Sammy's new big boy bed

Conversation on the ride to work this morning

2008-01-17T20:06:00.000-05:00

Me: So, do you think you might want to cut the chord this time?
Owen (repulsed): Oh my God no!
Me: Are you sure? Mom won't be there to do it this time...so the doctor or somebody will have do it.
Owen: Yeah, I know...that's fine. Can we talk about something else? I just had some bile come up my throat.

Proof that some of the worst drivers in the nation aim their crosshairs down the center line in Fayette-Nam

2008-01-07T20:39:00.001-05:00

Today, as I was haded to the grocery, I actually saw somebody swerve to avoid and then honk at a PARKED ABANDONED CAR on the side of the road. Yeah! Take that!

Some pre-Christmas pictures I'd meant to post

2008-01-06T12:08:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time coming

2008-01-06T11:44:00.000-05:00

Well...as I see from the date stamp on my last entry, I am woefully overdue. The truth is that things have been very busy, though not with anything worth mentioning. As can be expected, the life of a teacher brings with it several meetings each week along with paren issues to be addressed, lessons to be planned and, an especially big one in North Carolina, tests to prepare for. I don't make excuses for my lack of writing this time around because I don't think it could have been helped much.

I have had several requests to get on the MySpace bandwagon lately. Though I started a MySpace accound ages ago in an effort to track down old classmates, I am short on desire to do much with it. I find the website frusterating - I am not able to do any kind of updates or anything to my page, and I can't help feeling that it seems a lot like a singles ad. Perhaps if I shut it down completely and then start over again. The only problem is that I am already doing a piss-poor job of keeping this one updated - like I need another one to neglect.

Christmas was chaotic for us this year. We were at home in MI from 12/20 through 1/1. During that time we had to fit in the next 4-6 months' worth of visits and family time. We will be seeing some family when Pete is born in April but the rest we won't see until summer, if at all. Our future here in NC remains somewhat in the air. We vascillate on where we'd like to be and what we'd like to be doing. There is a big part of me that would move closer to home in any way possible, however, there is also the part of me that understands how completely broke we are and how unlikely it is that we can afford such a move this summer - espcially because we will be in financial recovery from my unpaid maternity leave.

Sam is growing like a weed and it wouldn't surprise me to see him ready to pack up and head for college next week. While we were home over vacation, his langage exploded and the constant gibberish we have enjoyed for months has begun to take on a much more functional/conversational quality. He has become pretty good at expressing his feelings, wants, needs and affection. Overall, he is a very happy, energetic kid.

I have to admit my eyes got a little damp last night as we packed up his crib and set up his new "big boy" bed. We wanted to begin that transition now in order to head off any potential resentment that could come along in April when Pete takes up residency in the crib. Also, Owen caught Sam in the process of climbing out of it yesterday morning. Since we had planned to make the switch soon, we figured yesterday might as well be the day. As it happened, he adores his new bed and when it was time to hit the sack last night, he walked right up to it and climbed in on his own. No fussing, no tears (except mine!). He went right to sleep and we didn't hear a peepe out of him until he woke himself up caughing at 4:30. We managed to hold him off until 5:30, when he decided it was time to face tha day. Owen, the love of my life, got up with him and let me continue to sleep, a passtime that has become both less enjoyable (due to physical discomfort) and less possible (doe to frequent visits to the restroom).

Though nothing particularly significant, I suppose that's it for now.

2007-11-04T14:15:00.001-05:00

In the Immortal Words of Ms. Cynthia - "Yo' Boy Can Dance!"

2007-09-30T19:28:00.000-04:00

When They Talk about the Salmon Running, I Don't Think This is What They Mean

2007-09-30T19:20:00.000-04:00

Sammy the Hammy does Halloween

2007-09-30T16:33:00.000-04:00

This weekend we went to Raleigh to see Owen's mom off back to Michigan. After we dropped her at the airport, we took some time to visit the Crabtree Valley Mall. Now, it is normal policy that we do not enter the Disney store, however, we were interested in pricing the Little Einstein videos. (Much cheaper to TiVo and then burn to disk). While we were there, we noticed that their Halloween costumes were on sale and that we could turn Sam into a fantastically cute Nemo for just over $20. So...we bought it. Owen is working on how to upload the video of him playing in his costume to the blogs. He absolutely loves to wear it and had a complete tantrum when I took it off so he could go to bed last night. Here are a couple of still photos. You will notice the quality is awful...this is because he wouldn't stand still for a second and I had to catch him on the move.

Hello, world!

2007-09-28T16:33:00.001-04:00

Baby #2 has made a surprise appearance at the doctor's office. I went for my first appointment thinking they would just confirm I'm pregnant. They did that, took 6 vials of blood, showed me 2, 3 and 4 D images of the baby (we even saw him/her moving!) and told me that I'm almost 11 weeks along. I'm officially due on April 20. Once again we miss Grampy's birthday (4/21) by just a smidgen. More pictures as they become available.

Sammy the Hammy

2007-09-04T20:23:00.000-04:00

Sam started his new daycare today and, already, he is doing much better. He loves Miss Cynthia and I'm sure that's due in no small part to the fact that she took him to MacDonald's today. Her comments to Owen when he picked him up:

"Your boy can eat!" (He ate a whole Big Mac for her. Never mind the fact that he won't eat ANY meat for Owen and I...at all...period.)

"Your boy can dance!" (He loves to dance all day, every day. Music optional. Clapping mandatory on all fronts.)

So Sam is officially out of a center-based daycare and back in the home and it is a welcome change for all of us. He has made a new friend with whom he is just about inseparable and, more importantly, he didn't cry all day like he did at his last place. Most importantly, they don't make him go 6 hours between diaper changes.

Tonight, we don't go to bed dreading the moment when we push the Center doors open and he becomes the human equivalent of a barnacle on our legs, at which point we would normally pick him up and carry him into his room (because he refused to walk) and then hand him, a now snotty mess of tears and screeches, to a woman who doesn't effectively communicate to any one of the three of us that this bothers her in the least. This also means that I will no longer begin my day wiping the tears from my eyes as the Center door closes behind me.

Sammy's new big boy haircut

2007-09-02T17:52:00.001-04:00

Because just being a first-year teacher isn't enough of a challenge for me...

2007-08-31T18:09:00.000-04:00

The #1 reason we keep asking my mom to help us move...

2007-08-25T21:13:00.001-04:00

And...some pictures of the truck that tried to kill Owen's dad by first giving him a concussion which then led to heat stroke. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a vacation.

My Classroom

2007-08-25T21:08:00.000-04:00

Welcome to...um...your new home?

2007-08-08T22:08:00.000-04:00

Well...after two days and many "adventures" (i.e. screw-ups) we are here. Our trip began with an "emergency" stop at Wal-Mart in Gaylord for an iPod car charger where upon we discovered that Sam had figured out how to escape his car seat. Man that kid has a devilish sense of timing. And that was the good part of our trip.

Stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic just north of Ann Arbor, the Nissan overheated and had to pull to the side of the road to cool down. As the traffic was not moving, we elected to "borrow" an illegal turn-around and head back to the first exit to follow an "alternate route" (i.e. short cut/get lost) and, while following a detour because the road we were supposed to follow was closed. discovered that the oil light in the Nissan was flashing. It burned up all its oil overheating. We are now 2 hours behind schedule, have not left MI yet, and I am sitting under a tree because I cannot have the car or the A/C on. Shit. (And...and honorable mention goes out to my brother, Matt, who not only risked trouble at work by taking my call to his cell, but who answered my questions about what had happened and who explained some things to watch for and some things to try, and who also called twice more that day to make sure we were running okay.)

We managed to make it as far as Charleston, WV, where we spent the night - all 6 of us in one room. It was snug!

Today, we began the day with a call to the trucking hub to find that our stuff would not be arriving at the house today, despite the 90% assurance of the delivery at the time the truck took off. If we had wanted to assure delivery today, it would have been an extra $400 - too much.

So, Owen and I took off with Sam because we had an appointment with the realtor at 3 and so were on a pretty brisk schedule. We arrived at 3:05 and signed the lease and then were at the house by 4 to meet with the cable installer. Unfortunately for Tom, who was driving the Nissan, it overheated again in the 105-degree heat and so he had to drive through Fayetteville with the heat on and the windows down to keep the engine cool. I swear, if Owen asks for any more repairs to that car, he's going to be buried in it sooner than he'd like! Anyway, Tom gets the platinum traveler award.

Sam gets the golden traveler award for being generally good-natured the entire trip and for never throwing one of his balls at the driver. He traveled exceptionally well. I also have to give an assist to Grammy's hand-held DVD player and the Wonder Pets, without whom/which we would have likely left Sam with the hitchhiker in Tobaccoville this afternoon (that is actually the name of a place - I did not make it up to be offensive. I don't have to make things up to do that.)

So...we are here, in a suite at the Comfort Inn because a.) we have no furniture at the house yet and b.) it was so hot today that even after running for close to 5 hours, it was still 85 degrees in the house. The low tonight is 80 - not exactly window weather.

The invitation is still open - come and visit! and don't forget to email me if you need my address.

Sod off...I mean, shove off...

2007-08-06T22:52:00.000-04:00

Our current plan is to peel out at apx. 8 tomorrow morning which, I'm not trying to pick or anything...but in my family, with Grandma Alice at the helm, it's about 2 hours to late from the getgo. But...I imagine we will still survive. We are a ragtag caravan: my Chevy (read: shitty) Cobalt; Owen's love of his life, the Nissan (I swear he will be buried in that car when he dies, so they can be together forever in the afterlife); and Tom and Cathy's zippy little blue Mazda. I don't know if I will be able to post updates every day but I will as it is possible.

We have just found out that we have been giving out the wrong zipcode for our forwarding address so, just FYI for you it's supposed to be 28314.

Please, my peeps, email me and ask me to send you my new address in whole. I don't want to post it here because who knows what kinds of unfortunate rifraf might stumble upon this paltry excuse for a blog.

Oh! Also! Flickr is coming! We will be posting oodles of pics as often as possible.

And now. sleeping pills have kicked in and are making it difficult for me to punch the correct key, and so I must skedattle. Send us good karma, positive energy, good chi, lotto tickets and whatever the hell else might seem appropriate.

Love to you all - each and every one. We will miss you but will keep a room lovingly decorated in shades of mauve and eyelet lace, awaiting your compulsory visits to chintz hell!

Houston: we are ready for takeoff!

And we're off...

2007-08-03T20:19:00.000-04:00

The vast majority of our stuff is now on its way to Fayetteville, NC, our future home. The truck carrying apx. 1800 square feet of our furniture/junk/treasures took off this afternoon. We used a company called U-Pack that delivered a semi trailer to the house where we loaded it. Then, they picked it up and drove off with it. We will see it again next Wednesday when it is delivered to our new house in NC, ready to be unloaded and fashioned into a home.

Incidentally, anybody needing our new address should shoot me an email. For the time being, our cell numbers will remain the same.

What can I say? The kid loves veggies...

2007-08-03T07:11:00.000-04:00

Our impending move has been more traumatic on Sam than I ever would have guessed. Who knew that a 16-month-old would wig out seeing all his things put into boxes? Anyway, it has been and )I think) will continue to be a rough next little while for him.

Perhaps this is the reason he has seemingly begun to attach himself to strange objects. He needs something to cling to. Literally. On Tuesday night, after a day of packing and hauling, we came to Owen's mom and dad's house for dinner. After dinner, while preparing to return home, Sam discovered a basket of veggies that had just been picked for the garden and, in true Sam fashion, began to unload the basket.

One zucchini in particular gave him a hard time, but upon throwing his entire body weight behind it, he pulled it out, and it became his new best friend. He carried it around with him, petting it and saying "niiiiiice" as he does with cats and dogs.

When it was time to leave, he began to get upset and so Cathy gave him the zucchini to take home. He snuggled it, talked to it and petted it almost all the way home. As he got a little more sleepy, it slipped from his arms and fell on the floor and into my purse. When we got home and I went to get my purse from the car, I found Sam's new best friend, seemingly cast aside and with a a few chipmunk-sized bites taken out of the top, the material from which I later found spit out in the car seat.

You know, sometimes the best way to get to know a new friend is to take a little nibble from his/her/it's head.

It's official...

2007-07-19T20:03:00.000-04:00

We have a destination. After months and months of anxiety, job fairs and interviewing, we have finally come to a conclusion about the fall. In a couple of weeks, Owen and I will be moving to Fayetteville, NC, and will both begin working in the neighboring schools. I will be teaching 5th grade and he will be a teacher assistant in a pre-k room. The tremendous upside to this is that we will both have the same breaks and, hopefully, will be able to come home for summer.

Of course, we are heartbroken to leave home and our families. Even the idea that we will be an hour and a half from the ocean all the time, though fantastic, is not enough to make us happy about going. We will dearly miss all our family and friends.

Classroom wish list

2007-07-10T16:46:00.000-04:00

As you may imagine, I have begun to try to figure out what kinds of things I will need this fall as I set up my first classroom. To the best of my inexperienced ability to brainstorm, I have come up with the following list of things. If anybody has any of them lying around the house and would like a good cause upon which to dump them, I'm your gal. I'll even come get them if necessary (and reasonable). You can contact me via email to set that up. Items with an asterisk are more acute needs. Without further ado, here is the list:

Used printer cartridges*
Books of any sort whatsoever (preferably young adult reading level, but ANYTHING goes)*
Storage containers, any size (Rubbermaid, etc.)*
3-ring binders*
File folders*
Regular folders
Post-it notes*
Pens - especially colors other than black or blue
Pencils*
Erasers
Highlighters*
Gift cards (I can figure out how to use one for practically any store)
Paper - any weight and color
Crayons
Markers
Stickers/labels - any size and style
Magazines (home decor, family and/or science magazines are better - not as many risque ads)
Wrapping paper
Used greeting cards
A current desk calendar
Stacking trays (in-box type things)
Magazine organizer boxes
Page protectors
Clip boards
Index cards
Library book pockets
Hanging file folders

Some of you may be experienced teachers, in which case I would love any suggestions you may think of that I have not listed.

Update

2007-07-10T16:43:00.000-04:00

Well...as of right now, I am looking at two job prospects. Of course, #1 is the job I have been offered in NC. Owen and I have both verbally accepted positions there. The only thing that could knock us off track now is an offer from a local school where I just applied yesterday. I am almost positive I will get called for an interview due to some family ties, so we'll see what happens.

Guess how Sam feels about showers...

2007-06-27T21:02:00.000-04:00

Update: the job front

2007-06-20T22:04:00.000-04:00

Well...since I have promised so many people that I would keep them posted on the job happenings, I thought it might just be easier to post it all here. So, here goes:

North Carolina: I have officially been offered 2 jobs. One, I have turned down in favor of the other one. This one is currently my best offer but I would like to have as a backup. The principal and I have struck an agreement that I have until July 17 to make a decision. In the meantime, she has pulled out the big guns to help sway my mind. On the table so far: a job for Owen (he has been officially offered a TA position from a principal at another school), the ideal position for me (5th grade double block - I would teach only English and Social Studies), new technology (including a digital projector and a smart pad) and, a facility that was just built last year. Despite the fact that this school is the district's pride and joy, it remains an official backup for me because a.) I desperately want something in MI if at all possible, and b.) the pay is pretty pitiful - especially for Owen's job. On the other hand, the cost of living is much lower as well.

Florida: I have a couple of leads here. One is a job in Miramar that I have been called to set up an interview for. I will schedule that on Monday. They have agreed to accommodate me with a phone interview. The other is with a school district near Sam's godfather in Manatee County. I have applied but have had no word from them so far. We like these possibilities because the pay is better than in NC and, if we had to leave MI, we would at least still be near friends and family.

Kentucky: I have had a preliminary interview with Jefferson County Schools (Louisville) and am on hold until their staff return after the 4th of July from their summer holiday.

MI: Chances here remain somewhat slim. I have applied for jobs all over the state but have yet to hear anything encouraging from any of them. I am holding out hope for a junior high position in Marcellus that Owen's sister tipped me off about. But competition here is very stiff with the current state of our economy and its effects on public education. I am beginning to feel desperate.

That's all for now....bedtime!

So...this is what hell must be like...

2007-06-05T18:07:00.000-04:00

Sam has been sick since Friday. Sick with what was, until yesterday, some random, unidentifiable crud. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't drink, he had a fever and was very lethargic. Also, when not asleep, he went into what I like to call "siren mode," continually shrieking and disrupting interplanetary communications as far away as Alpha Centauri (about 25.8 trillion miles away). Perhaps you heard him? (He is doing it at this very instant.)

On Sunday we took him to the walk-in clinic because we were beginning to worry and, frankly, we were worried about long-term hearing loss. The P.A. we saw was unable to determine the problem, but gave us a prescription for antibiotics and told us to make sure he saw his pediatrician soon.

Translation: "Um...I don't know. But here are some antibiotics so you don't feel like you wasted your money coming here and, since it could actually be something serious, you should make sure he sees somebody who actually knows what he's talking about."

Upon seeing the pediatrician yesterday, not our regular doctor but one of his partners, she informed us that, because of his symptoms and the time of year, she believes he has the Coxsackie Virus. I know...this sounds very strange and exotic. It is the more scientific name for Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. I have been telling everybody he has the Coxackie virus because nobody knows what it is and Hand, Foot and Mouth disease sounds too much like Hoof and Mouth disease that pigs and cows get and it just sounds dirty and unsanitary to me. (Actually, it is distantly related to Hoof and Mouth disease in the same viral family.)

Anyway, he has been home from daycare since then (except for half the day today at which point Owen called me and begged me to come get him) and we have been "bonding."

Translation: he cries and wants to be picked up, put down, picked up, put down, picked up until I finally put him in his bed and he sleeps for more than 3 hours at a go.

I'm not exaggerating and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I live for these moments of peace and quiet, rare as they are lately. Because of the ulcers in his throat, he is in pretty constant pain and is taking both Tylenol and ibuprofen on a staggered schedule. This makes the nights very, very long. At least his fever has broken, though.

Owen said these were the days that would remind us why we wanted to have a baby. At the risk of sounding like a horrible mother who deserves to lose her mother of the year award, I told him that, actually, these were the days that made me wonder what I was thinking in the first place. Also I told him that I was a damn fool if I ever thought I could make it as a stay-at-home mom.

Those women are freaking AMAZING...and I say that without the slightest hint of sarcasm.

One of the best books I have ever read...

2007-06-02T13:17:00.002-04:00

If I Am Missing or Dead
By Janine Latus

My mom bought and read this book and then gave it to me and told me that I had to read it and pass it on to my sister. I finished it last night night before bed, and just laid there, in my bed, crying for a little while after I'd finished. It is, perhaps, the saddest book I've ever read. Where this woman got the courage to share her story, I don't know. It's amazing...and it will blow your mind.

You will be horrified and appalled...and you will wish you could have done something to help too. When you finish reading it, you will think to yourself that you have to find away to help combat the epidemic of domestic abuse millions of women and children face every day, even if it's something small...take a bad of groceries to your local shelter...donate a gift card for a salon...volunteer your time to help with household improvements or staffing a crisis line.

Everybody should read this book...if you are a mother or father, a brother or sister, teacher, social worker, a woman in a relationship...even a man in a relationship.

A day in the life of a P.E. teacher

2007-06-01T19:06:00.000-04:00

Because I am a stunning specimen of health and physical fitness...

Since finishing my student teaching and returning from Florida, I have been working as a substitute teacher. It has been interesting and I have learned a lot. Like, for example, I would rather chew off my own arm than teach kindergarten...or first grade. I love kids, and if all I had to do was play and make art projects, I would be there in a heartbeat. But teach? Meet benchmarks? Those people deserve sainthood, as far as I'm concerned.

Today I subbed for the P.E. teacher. This was also an interesting experience. I had 2 groups of 3rd graders in the morning and then 2 groups of 2nd graders and one group of 5th graders in the afternoon. I think, maybe, by the time the second group of second graders rolled through, I had finally perfected how to give them directions to correctly play my version of dodge ball and I had also finally found the balls that wouldn't send them home missing more teeth than they came in with. It only took me 4 classes! Also, I have never in my life told more kids that no, they did not need to go to the office for ice/band aids/TLC unless they were risking life and/or limb by remaining with us in the gym. In my world, "but I think I can feel the blood pulsating and pushing and trying to break through my skin" means slightly less than "my toe itches." Come on, guys, the secretaries have more important jobs to do than kissing boo-boos. I am such a hard ass...

But my biggest experience of the day had to be dealing with my first physical altercation resulting in a suspension. The 5th grade class was playing soccer - a bad choice on my part. The no-personal-contact game of dodge ball was MUCH better. Anyway, a young man informed me upon walking into the gym that he had been gone for so long he didn't remember which squad to line up with. And I kind of blew it off because kids are always trying to screw with subs and because before I could even address his question, his classmates reminded him where he should sit. I thought it odd that somebody would be gone for that long, but, well...whatever.

So then we began our "friendly" game of soccer. Which, as it turns out, was not so friendly. As I was on my way to speak to the same young man (the same one who did not know where his seat was) about the fact that he was receiving his one and only warning against calling his classmates "whore" (the next time, you're out of here, man), when he went after her, kicking at her shins with such force that both of her legs flew backwards and she landed, head-first, on the floor. He then kicked her again and in my abject terror, I did not see exactly where the second kick landed. I am not exaggerating. And the thing that was so horrific was not that he had just kicked her harder than anyone I have ever seen kick another person outside of the Sopranos. What was so shocking to me was the absolute calmness and placidity with which he executed his maneuver. It reminds me of that scene in Silence of the Lambs when Hannibal Lechter attacks the guards in Memphis (allowing him to escape) and literally beats one of them to death without so much as a facial expression, good, bad or otherwise.

After I had told him to go to the principal's office, he chuckled and smirked as he moseyed his way along. I, in the meantime, was seriously worried we were going to have to call an ambulance. But the young lady seemed to be pretty much okay other than being a little banged up. She went to the principal's office as well, and stayed there for the rest of the class period.

When I was finally able to dismiss the class, I immediately went to the office myself. One, because I was worried about the poor girl (and the office staff, for that matter. For all I know, I could have found him eating their livers with fava beans and a nice chianti.), and two, because I was mortified that such a thing had happened on my watch. I apologized profusely to the secretary (while also looking around for the principal so I could apologize to him too) and told her that I was horrified that this had happened. But she just smiled and waved it off.

"Oh, don't worry," she said. "This is the first time he's been allowed back into gym class in months. He's E.I. (emotionally impaired - and I could have diagnosed him myself. E.I. with a side of sociopathic tendencies), you know, and he does this kind of thing all the time. The normal gym teacher won't even take him if the principal isn't here to come get him when he gets kicked out." GREAT....I think to myself. This is the kid the ex football hero/gym teacher refuses to deal with and you send him back to gym for the first time with a freaking SUB???

In retrospect, I think I am quite lucky that he actually left the gym when I told him to. I wonder how my liver tastes...

2007-05-30T12:45:00.000-04:00

The ill-fated climbing expedition

Just north into Canada about 2 hours.

Jeeping

The best way to end the day? Sharing a Superman ice cream cone with Aunt Rach.

I hate kindergarten...

2007-05-29T18:58:00.000-04:00

but one of the kids said something funny to me today as I was subbing:

"Wow...you're kind of small for a grownup."

This sentiment was echoed later in the afternoon when I moved on to sub in a 4th grade classroom:

"Wow...I'm taller than you...and you're the teacher?"

Well...at least I got a nice little vacation...

2007-05-29T18:49:00.001-04:00

So...Florida was a bust from a professional standpoint. The job fair was a disaster. On the other hand, I had a great visit with friends and family!

After we got home, we headed straight for the U.P. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. We had a lot of fun. Drove to Canada on Saturdday so Rachel, Jeff, Matt and Owen could do some rock climbing. The rest of us just tagged along 2 miles back into the woods to take pictures. That ended in a bit of a quagmire as well.

It turns out the bugs were REALLY BAD. Taking Sam into the woods was a horrible idea and so Joseph (my 11-year-old nephew) and I took Sam back to the car to wait it out while they climbed. It was also pretty hot and so I passed Joe the keys from the backseat where I was sitting with Sam and asked him to start the car. The air come on and so did the music and there we sat, enjoying snacks and drinks and the cool, bug-free air. That is, until the car quit. And wouldn't start.

I panicked and told Joe to run back through the woods and get his Papa and tell him the car quit. Being 11, he chose to do it the 11-year-old way which involves standing at the edge of the trail and yelling back into the woods. It took a little convincing, but eventually they came and determined that Joe hadn't actually turned the car on all the way. He'd just turned the key far enough to power the dashboard. Crap.

Luckily, we had left Rachel and Jeff's Neon back at the road, and so the 4 of them ran back to get the car. It took about 45 minutes because the Neon kept bottoming out on the 2-track. But eventually we got the car started and headed home.

The next day we had a great time running through puddles in the limestone quarry with Owen's new Jeep. It's a 69/72 hybrid with big old tires and a lift. I imagine at one time it was quite the rock crawler but it did okay by us on Sunday. We had a lot of fun. Pictures coming soon (as soon as I can download them from the camera).

Waaay too much spare time...

2007-05-21T22:15:00.000-04:00

I didn't have much to do today because yesterday I rode down to TC with my mom and dad in order to save gas by not driving myself down today. (I fly out from here at 7 a.m. tomorrow.) So I spent the entire morning at the house with nothing to do, which is an experience I've not had in a really long time. No school work, no homework, no housework and no baby. It was so weird.

So I found myself watching home improvement shows on the Fine Living Network - a new one to me since we don't have it. I love those shows. I love to imagine what I would do to decorate if I had a house. Anyway, as often happens when watching TV, a commercial came on and, since my parents don't have TiVo yet (it's still on order), I was forced to actually watch the commercials. And this commercial for a bagless vacuum came on.

It was so pretty! It was mesmerizing to watch all those shiny glitter particles flying around and around looking like what might happen if the Tasmanian Devil had babies with a disco ball. I found myself thing that Owen and I should have a pretty vacuum like that.

And then it occurred to me that it probably isn't nearly as pretty watching cheerios and dust bunnies flying around like that. In fact, there's probably very few things less appealing to watch than hair-covered, shriveled up pieces of hot dog and dill pickle flying through the air with the greatest of ease.

So, unless I am planning to start feeding Sam glitter (which may also make chaing his diapers a more pleasant experience), a bagless vacuum is totally out of the question. I mean, the whole reason we vacuum things up anyway (apart from the fact that it feels vaguely disgusting to step on them) is because we don't want to see them anymore. We certainly don't want to keep seeing them at 500 rpm.

It's a darn good thing we don't even need a vacuum. Also...I am beginning to think that having TiVo is actually saving us money.

Bittersweet

2007-05-20T12:33:00.000-04:00

Well, after 3 ½ years of evening and weekend classes, I am finally finished with school. Friday was my last day student teaching in room 3-P. Now, as soon as I can find a job, I can finally call myself a teacher. (As one of my kids wrote in a farewell letter, "Mrs. H. I hope you get a job as a real teacher someday.")

I am surprised I didn’t cry on Friday when I opened my gifts from the kids. I got very emotional for a minute and then talked myself down, thinking that I didn’t want them to see me cry because I didn’t want to upset them too. But it was a bittersweet moment. I was so happy to finally be finished but was also so sorry to have to let them all go. I told them they were one of the best groups of kids I had ever been lucky enough to work with and that’s the truth – they are amazing.

It’s been a strange week. This is a huge accomplishment for me…and for my family. I feel like I am finally in a position where we might finally be able to get our sh*t together. 4 years ago when I finished college, my mom had to persuade me to have a graduation party. I didn’t feel much like celebrating. Yes, it was a big accomplishment since I had left school after Owen and I got married. But I knew I wasn’t finished - it was only a short-term victory. It didn’t seem worthy a big celebration. I knew I wouldn’t yet be able to begin my career and so it didn’t seem like much of a big deal.

Now I am ready. After 10 years of “post-secondary” education, I have finally finished and am ready to begin my career. I feel ready. I know I am well prepared. And I can honestly say that my “taking the long route” has better prepared me to be a good teacher. But this too has been a bittersweet ending. Finally, I feel that I have made a tremendous accomplishment. I have finished…this is huge. I am now able to have a real career. This means big things…HUGE things…for Sam and Owen and I…and yet I feel unable to celebrate it because…

And all that remains is for me to get a job and this is the very difficult part. The market for teachers in the state of Michigan is beyond horrible. Many schools are laying off employees and, in some communities, they are closing. As of right now, there isn’t even any guarantee that schools will receive the rest of the funding to finish out this year, let alone hire more teachers next year. Many schools seize the opportunity presented by retiring teachers to thin down the staff. This is a tremendous opportunity for them reduce their staff without having to buy out contracts or pay severance packages.

Despite almost daily searches for available positions, I have thus far found exactly zero positions for which I am eligible in this state. Opportunities in other states abound. In fact, I am flying to Fort Lauderdale on Tuesday and am guaranteed to walk away with an offer. And not just an offer of a job…an offer for THE job I want. No settling for a lower elementary job – a job that would do okay but which I would not prefer to middle school English. This is my insurance policy. It is the guarantee that I need to be able to sleep at night. It will allow me to know that, come hell or high water, I will have a job this fall. We can finally begin digging our way out of the financial mess we have made trying to finish college and working at Blockbuster. I did not work my ass off for all those years to work at freaking Blockbuster for the rest of my life.

But let me make one thing clear: I don’t want to leave. I lived in Florida before and, to put it mildly, I didn’t love it. But things are different for me now. I have a family to take care of…and many, many college loans to pay off. 10 years’ worth, to be precise. And have I mentioned that a job in the Broward County School District would pay $10,000 per year more? I have huge responsibilities…bills to pay…college loans…a child to support…a husband who wants to spend the rest of his life making $12/hr. teaching preschool.

The mere possibility of leaving home has already caused me more sleepless nights than I can count. I cannot communicate how much I hate the thought of taking Sam so far away from his grandparents and the rest of my family. I was so close to my grandparents…and I have always wanted that amazing relationship for him. He adores his grandparents. The thought of taking that away from him and from them breaks my heart. I tell myself that it will only be for a couple of years until the MI economy improves or until I have some experience under my belt and am more employable here. I could work on additional certifications so that I can find a job here and we can come back home. But still, leaving is leaving…for one year or 10…or whatever…and the thought of it makes me sick.

And so I don’t much feel like celebrating…even though I had just made one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.

The rundown: a few facts for your perusal

2007-05-15T20:04:00.000-04:00

Just in case you need to tell my story to the Grand Jury:

Fact: Owen had to stay late at work tonight for CPR and First Aid training so it was just Sam and me all evening.

Fact: Fact Owen was joking about Sam's mullet when I went to pick him up at school today.

Fact: Once you snip a little, you have to keep going or it looks funny.

Fact: Just as it is impossible to dig your way out of a hole, it is almost as impossible to cut your way out of a bad DIY haircut.

Fact: Just because you watch Bravo's Shear Genius, it doesn't mean that you are in any way entitled to wield a pair of Cutter Bees (scrapbooking scissors) against the delicate locks of your year-old son.

Fact: Owen does not yet know that I cut Sam's hair, though me may find some evidence on the ground in front of our apartment building because I wrongly assumed that if I shook out the towel off the balcony, the hair would just fly away. It didn't. It's all over our entryway.

Fact: Apparently, I cut off a sizable amount of hair.

Fact: I'm not telling Owen. I want to see if he notices and maybe assumes that Sam was abducted by alien hair stylists during the night. (After all, it could be a family thing.) Or maybe that he has been prematurely affected by male pattern baldness. After all, that DOES run in the family.

Photos of Sam "The Man"

2007-05-14T18:20:00.000-04:00

(Sam LOVES to read. It will soothe him when he is cranky or when he falls down. We often give him books in the car. They keep him occupied for a long time.)

(Sam regularly goes into his room and takes out several books and then sits on the floor with them all around him. Often, he has them all open and he takes turns turning the pages,)

(Sam also really loves to swing. His new favorite game is called "Kick Daddy in the Face." Guess how it's played...)

(And, of course, what kid doesn't love bath time? Sam especially likes to try out bubble wigs and bubble moustaches and goatees.)

Ta da!

2007-05-14T18:04:00.000-04:00

After significant absence I have returned.

I’m hoping you’re all still lurking out there or that you might have begun to use Google reader and so you’re picking up the new post that way. Or you’re some poor loser who hit the Blogger next button and here you are smacked upside the head with this poorly updated P.O.S.

In any case, dear reader, I’m glad you’re still here!

Here are some updates about us:

I attended a job fair at CMU a few weeks ago and have gotten several job offers, some of which we are considering and some we are not. Our options include: Hoke County, NC; Baltimore, MD; Ft. Lauderdale, FL; Prince George’s County, MD; Louisville, KY. I’ll keep you posted as thing develop.

I have gotten a summer job as the lead teacher for the school-age day cam where Sam goes to daycare. This means that the Harrington family will be doing our part to keep Al Gore from making any more movies (that was a joke – I’ve never seen his movie) by all riding to work/school together every day. Hooray!

Sam is walking. Alternately, Sam is falling. A lot. Yesterday I thought he might take out our sliding glass door. Luckily, it’s still tougher than his head. Owen has taken to calling him “the walking bruise” while I remain attached to “booger face” as he has recently recovered from his first sinus infection brought on, no doubt, by his recently diagnosed allergies. (Could you hear me sigh just then?)

I am in my last week of student teaching and am having major separation anxiety about leaving my kids. Yes, they are “my kids” now. I find I am listless and without direction most evenings, having completely forgotten what life is like with no papers to grade. I am also fairly well dying to know what grade I will be teaching in the fall so I can start planning my year and gathering materials.

Well…I know that’s not much of an entry, but it’s something, right? I’m planning to post a few pictures of Sam here in the next day or so.

Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention...

2007-04-15T22:21:00.000-04:00

...to Owen's blog. I realize many of you had given up on him, but he's posted again. Why, you ask? What should I go see? Why, one of Sam's first birthday portraits. It's not to be missed! Something very interesting "developed."

Birthday Boy

2007-04-12T16:23:00.000-04:00

Enjoying a little birthday ice cream...

Similie Study

2007-04-11T17:11:00.000-04:00

This week we have been studying similies. I asked the kids to write some similies about themselves. Here is what I got:
Translation, for those of you who don't understand third grade spelling and grammar:
I am as mad as a bear.
I swim like a fish.
I am as huge as a tiger.

Get your minds out of the darn gutter....jeez....they're THIRD graders!

Third grade word of the day:

2007-03-20T07:14:00.000-04:00

Cowomperation: (n.) The act of physically persuading your group-mates that you really do get along and that they have a physical need and desire to agree with whatever you say.

The future is now...

2007-03-16T21:29:00.001-04:00

I’ve been feeling badly about neglecting what little readership I have, and so I have decided to make an attempt to play a little catch-up with everybody.

School keeps me insanely busy. I am there by 7:30 every morning, and don’t usually get home until sometime between 6 and 8. I try to get home before Sam goes to bed whenever I can but Owen has been a champ about bringing him in for little visits.

The class I’m with is incredibly diverse. There are very few average kids. We have some very, very high kids, and some very, very low kids. The issues I had to deal with this week included: bullying, a 3200 Abuse/Neglect report to Child Protective Services, an abused child who is now wetting his pants regularly (this is NOT the 3200 kid), a child who will be retained next fall, a child with a 150 IQ and enough social problems to drown a fish, and all the “regular” gunk associated with parent/teacher conferences. I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and it is well earned. Proof: my adviser has told me, “Sarah…I pray for you every night…you’ll be okay.” All that said, I absolutely love teaching and am very excited at the prospect of having my own classroom next fall.

For those of you who don’t know as much about Sam as me, his first birthday is next month. I can not believe how quickly the year has flown by. I see little newborns now and I can hardly remember what it was like when he was that little. I’m looking forward to having another baby at some point because I think I can do better this next time around. Looking back, I see how hard it was for me those first few weeks and how much I struggled. People who say you can never be ready are right.

Speaking of birthdays, if you know me (and aren’t just a stranger from the internet who was so unfortunate as to have been mistakenly directed to me) and are interested in coming to Sam’s first birthday party on April 7, please give me a call. If you know me, you know how to get ahold of me.

Sam is growing like a weed. He’s very tall and lean and, because of that, looks a lot older than he is. He does not have the chubby baby face. He stood for the first time this week and the only reason I know is because Owen decided it was better to tell me and let me cry because I missed it than to not tell me at all. And, I didn’t cry, actually/amazingly, I was just bummed I missed it.

Owen left his job with TLC to work at Sam’s daycare. He took a bit of a pay cut, but it slowly making up the difference with freelance technology work. Also, I get paid to sub every now and then.

All in all, life is good here in the northland. I’m very excited about our upcoming move, and only wish I knew where it would be too. I am optimistic about getting a teaching job and am willing to work at any school in order to do it. I told my mom this weekend how exciting it is to be on the cusp of an actual career as opposed to working in a job where I know I have no future. My future is finally here…

Pictures for Grammy

2007-02-26T13:52:00.000-05:00

Grammy has been on vacation for almost 2 WEEKS now and is missing the Sam-o-rama. So, here are some pictures to make her smile.

And here is one I found when I went to get the others off the camera. It's Sam and daddy, waiting for the nurse to come get Sam to have his tubes put in.

Excuses, excuses...

2007-02-22T13:37:00.001-05:00

So…worst blogger in the world…I know.

BUT – I have a good excuse. Here’s what’s been going on:

On February 8, I developed major abdominal pain. I called the surgeon who operated on me in October to make sure that it wasn’t some kind of a complication from that surgery and, they thought it might be so they told me to come into the office. BUT – it’s a 1 ½ hour drive down there and by the time I would get there they would be closed. So they told me to go into the ER and have the on-call doc for their office paged.

Long story short: I was hospitalized with gallstones. I had a procedure called an ERCP to have two stones removed from my common bile duct – they were causing blockage and the pain and nausea. Basically, they knocked me out, put a scope down my throat and then used electrical current to cut a small hole in the bile duct to let the stones out. They also told me that I would need to have my gallbladder removed.

Flash forward to yesterday when I was taken back for surgery at 11 a.m. to have the gallbladder removed. It’s outpatient surgery, so I’m home again but I’ll be off for the next week recovering. Because I’m allergic to steri-strips, they GLUED me shut!

Also, I have a prescription for some pretty good pain killers which, surprisingly, I don’t need nearly as much for my abdomen as I do for my shoulders. According to Owen, they pumped me full of about 2 liters of CO2 for the laparoscopy. A lot of this gets absorbed into the body tissues and it takes a couple of days for it to work its way out. In the meantime, it migrates to the highest point in your body, which is fine when you’re lying down, but when you sit up, it travels into your shoulders and it very painful. And, wouldn’t you know it, sitting up is the best way to get rid of it. So you just have to kind of work through the pain with deep breaths, which also helps get rid of it.

So that’s my excuse/story. I could have gotten a note from the doctor excusing me, but you’re not the boss of me…

2007-02-18T16:43:00.000-05:00

This is a "vintage" photo taken of Sam at daycare.

What do you want first? The good or the bad?

2007-01-29T19:02:00.000-05:00

First, the funny part:

Today at school the kids had some free time and so a group of them were engaging in a rousing game of Outburst Junior. The category for this particular round was "Body Parts You Can't See" and the kids were throwing out answers left and right. As the time for the round grew close to running out, the moderator began to give hints by sounding out the beginning of the words/phrases, such as s....sk...skel....skeleton. When she began to give the hint n....ner... one of the kids jumped in and yelled "Nerple!"

And now the shitty part:

Sam now has his 7th ear infection since September. We took him to an ENT on Thursday who informed us that he will need to have tubes put in his ears. That isn't so bad because we were kind of expecting to be told that. I had them twice when I was a kid for the same reason. However, they called today to let us know that they had checked with his insurance carrier for coverage and they are considered "out of plan." So....we will have to pay a $1,000 deductible AND a portion of the total for the procedure AND the fee for the doctor for the procedure which has to be done as an outpatient procedure at the hospital because Sam is an infant and will have to be anesthetized. And...have I failed to mention that we're on one income until May?

Yes...we sent paperwork to DHS today to see if he will qualify for MI Child. Otherwise we will have to reschedule his procedure.

two things...

2007-01-25T21:24:00.000-05:00

Two little tidbits for today:

1. Due to my frenetic schedule, I have lost 6 pounds this week. I am so busy that I don't have much time to eat and am too busy to realize that I'm hungry. The upside of this is that I don't have time for Tae Bo and, apparently, don't need it. I suggested to Owen that we celebrate with cake. He thought an "I-just-lost six-pounds-and-need-to-gain-it-back-pronto-cake" was not such a great idea. I suggested cupcakes instead.

2. Humorous third grader comment of the day: "Excuse me, pardon me! Adult coming through! I shave EVERY DAY!!!"

Update...

2007-01-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

I must apologize for my recent lack of blogging. As it happens, I have been quite busy leaving my job to be an unemployed student, something I have not had the privilege of enjoying since 2001.

My days last week were filled by listening to voice mails of last-minute requests from my boss and then performing whatever task that she didn’t want to have to do herself or that she wanted to put off at least another month. Not that I can blame her. If it was so great, I never would have left.

On Monday I began my first week of student teaching. The kids are fantastic – caring, nurturing and very well-mannered. They also represent a huge diversity in ability levels. There is one little boy, cute as can be, who is testing at high-school level with logic problems. There are also 10 children who receive Title 1 services, 2 who receive special education services, 1 who gets speech therapy, 2 who have mentors and 2 who have high school “buddies” to help them. Of course there is some crossover among these kids, but not nearly as much as anybody would love to see. All in all, it is a very diverse group.

Here are some of the things I have been told so far this week:

“Older people make me nervous.” (“Am I an older person?”) “Um…yeah…I think you’re about…39.”

“You smell nice…(child leans uncomfortably close to me, her face right into my neck)…I think it’s your hair.”

“It’s okay Ms. H…I drop things all the time too.”

“My sister has a boyfriend. My mom says that she better quit seeing him or she’s going to go to prison.”

So far, I have been to a staff meeting and teacher mentoring meeting and tomorrow I will attend a Title 1 meeting with my CT (Cooperating Teacher), the principal and the Title 1 teacher. When I asked my CT where the meeting would be, she told me it would be in the P’s office. This made me instantly nervous because I have only ever been to the P’s office twice before: once in HS because he wanted to know how to say my last name at graduation, and once in 4th grade because I had the audacity to laugh during silent lunch hour in the cafeteria.

This was by Mrs. Stratton, of whom I distinctly remember my mom saying, when learning that she had been a kindergarten teacher, that she must have taught kindergarten at a military academy. She was ornery as hell and used to make us eat lunch silently in the gym. I actually ran into her last week at the salon after treating myself to a facial. She looked the same, almost 20 years later, which gives you some indication of how frumpy she was back then (think: the grandmother from Flowers in the Attic).

The next 14 weeks promise to be filled with memorable moments (i.e. our upcoming field trip to the nursing home) and I will share when I can. At the moment, I am becoming very, very busy with school, but I love every minute of it. I hope my feelings won’t fade as my workload becomes greater. For now, I am struck by the poignancy of a quote a I heard a long time ago. I have no idea to whom it should be attributed: “Do what you love, and never work another day in your life.”

Also, my apologies for missing Blog for Choice Day. I didn't have time to put together anything as well thought-out as last year's piece. Some of y0u may remember last year's piece, and my 15 minutes of fame when it got picked up by a few national blogs and bigger city newspapers. I suppose I had nowhere to go but down, and so I didn't even try this year, given my tight schedule. Maybe next year...

Show this to your daughters...

2007-01-20T18:09:00.000-05:00

Dream a little dream of being in a different movie theatre...

2007-01-15T16:08:00.000-05:00

This past weekend my mom and my sister and I went to see Dremagirls because it finally opened here. Let me begin by saying that I LOVE musicals and that I have a discerning enough sensibility to understand the difference between a musical and a rock opera (or, in this case, a Motown opera). I was extremely disappointed in the movie.

The plot was ludicrously predictable, the music was over the top, the “musical” moments were ridiculously sentimental and the movie’s story progressed in irritating fits and starts – some scenes took eons to end and then transition-free jumps ten years forward without many visual cues. I think the writers and directors would have been better off committing to doing an actual Supremes biopic (with real Supremes music!) instead of pussyfooting around with this bastardization.

I understand that this is actually a screen adaptation of a Broadway musical; however, it did not translate well to film. Its momentary forays into the genre of rock opera were tentative and sporadic – not enough to be committed to the style, but enough to make you sit there thinking “What the hell?” as you check your watch every 30 seconds to see how much longer ‘til the movie is over. This film lacked the commitment to the genre to make us believe it as a musical and, as a result, became more soap opera than rock opera, with random and seemingly haphazard outbursts of singing.

Beyonce’s performance was lamely milquetoast - I can’t stand to see a character so sickly sweet and without any realistic grit, someone with whom the audience could possibly identify. Give us a character we can root for or against, but don’t shine the spotlight on such a lame wallflower.

As I see it, there were only two good things about this movie but, from where I stand, they were good enough to earn some award-season recognition but not enough to make it worth watching the movie. First is Jennifer Hudson’s performance. Though I’m not a fan of raving vocals that climb up and down three sets of scales at a riff (or whatever the hell you call it), her vocals were soulful and her performance was excellent. I love her, and I hope we see more of her. The second great thing was the makeup and costuming, which was absolutely fantastic. It was, perhaps, the most enjoyable aspect of the movie, flashy and dazzling at every turn. I even loved the wigs and jewelry, and when do I ever notice that stuff?

All in all, it gets two big thumbs down from me. If you want to see Jennifer Hudson, try YouTube or something. And if you want to see shots of the costumes, try IMDB or Google. Don’t waste your time going to the theatre only to spend the evening waiting for the movie to just be over. Save your money.

Everything you need to know about the world:

2007-01-11T09:44:00.000-05:00

If the Earth’s population was shrunk into a village of 100 people - with all existing human ratios remaining the same - the village would look like this:

52 Female
48 Male

30 White
70 Non-White

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 North and South Americans
8 Africans

70 Non-Christian
30 Christian

89 Heterosexual
11 Homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of all the wealth.
All 6 of them would be from the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing.
70 would be unable to read.
50 would suffer from malnutrition.
1 would be near death.
1 would be near birth.
1 would have a college education.
1 would own a computer.

Random thoughts of the day...

2007-01-10T15:59:00.000-05:00

Why is it that every time I shop for a condolence card, I cry? Even if I’ve never event met the person... Sometimes I wonder if I need stronger meds.

Sam can’t take swimming lessons this month as I had planned because he has to see the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor on the 19^th about the possibility of having tubes put in his ears. I’m so bummed. Not that I was really enjoying the idea of parading around in my swimsuit once a week, but still…

It’s pretty much time to start taking my personal things home from work so that I don’t have to bring in a U-Haul on my last day. I can hardly believe that my last day is just a little more than a week away. I’ve been waiting for this for so long, but I’m still a little sad.

You should have to have a license to use commas.

I don’t think it’s possible to have too much lotion or too many different kinds of it. I also think that there’s no such thing as too much nail polish.

Sam will be 9 months old tomorrow. I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown by. I suggested to Owen that we should have some cake to celebrate Sam’s 9 month birthday. He suggested I should stop looking for excuses to have cake.

In related news, Tae Bo Fat Blasting Cardio completely and totally kicks my ass. And I don’t mean it as though the DVD kicks ass. I mean that I am so bad at it that I don’t want anybody, even Sam, to watch while I pathetically attempt to keep up with it. Incidentally, Sam thinks aerobics videos are hilarious and was having quite a good time watching and laughing last night. I am POSITIVE he wasn’t laughing at me…

Pursuit of Happyness was a fantastic movie. It was so touching that it made me cry several times and I think just about everybody should watch it. Will Smith is an amazing actor and his son was also very good. I can’t ever imagine sleeping in a subway bathroom with my child…that was one of the instances that made me cry.

I would really like to watch Dreamgirls, as well, but the stupid cinema here seems to be disinterested in showing it. Leave it to our lame-ass theatre to skip out on the movie that has inspired so much Oscar buzz.

Sam's latest portraits

2007-01-06T21:21:00.000-05:00

And the cherry on top...

2007-01-05T16:46:00.000-05:00

As if today hasn't been bad enough...the office financial software crashed at 4:30. This is the second time it's done this at 4:30 on a Friday in the last month. That's 50/50. And no, it isn't my attempt to cover my own tracks as an embezzler.

The bad day...

2007-01-05T11:44:00.000-05:00

Let me begin this story by saying that for a couple of months, now, I have been extremely stressed. The prospect of quitting my good-paying job to chase after what has eventually seemed to become some sort of a pipe dream in my imagination (student teaching, or, just teaching), has left me laying awake for hours on end at night. Like most young people, we are not without our share of debt, mostly college loans. Most of the time, and barring any unforeseen incidents, we are able to make ends meet…just barely. The idea of quitting my job, even with the prospect of a better future, is none the less nerve-wracking.

And it is mainly for this reason that, just before Christmas, my doctor gave me a prescription to help me sleep at night. It also happens that another doctor gave me a prescription for Amoxicillin that caused one of the worse allergic reactions I’ve ever had to deal with. For two weeks my hands and feet were both swollen with a phenomenally itchy rash and the only way I could sleep at night, despite the sleep aid given me by my regular doctor, has been to take Benadryl. Without taking both of them, sleep was impossible.

So you may imagine that I have been sleeping REALLY HARD at night, which is true. I have also been waking and moving through the days like a zombie. Owen, angel that he is, has taken care of Sam most nights so that I can sleep. But I still wake up as though I’ve been on a 3-day bender – absolutely exhausted.

This is all led up to the fact that I became an unwitting embezzler this week. On Monday night I chose not to take either pill in an effort to try to begin to pull my weight at night with Sam again and, as a result, I got less than 4 hours of sleep. Tuesday afternoon, in a fog of exhaustion, I put the wrong number on the office bank deposit of approximately $3,000. Of course, I didn’t find that out until today, when the bank finally posted the scan of the deposit slip to MY online banking site.

The money had mysteriously appeared in our account a couple of days ago. But until the deposit clears, all it says is “Pending” and you can’t get any more information about it. We called the bank, insisting that it was a mistake as there was no way we could imagine that we should be getting that much money in our account. They told us to wait and see what came through in the scan. Imagine my horror when I opened the link only to discover my office savings deposit slip.

It bears mentioning that just last week an employee was fired for allegedly stealing money out of purses and petty cash. Though no hard evidence was found to my knowledge, and she was my friend who I thought very highly of, she was fired on suspicion alone as “We can do whatever we want – we’re an at-will employer.” Additionally, when my boss was in an irritable mood yesterday and claimed, “I’m in the mood to fire somebody,” she wasn’t joking. I was informed that I would be firing the cleaning lady today with no notice as well, because our contract with her stipulates that we may do so at our discretion.

And so that is the second part of my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I was made to fire a woman who cleans for $65 per week, and who needs the money so badly that she comes in to the office in a panic on Monday if her check doesn’t get there by Saturday. She cried in my office and I blankly apologized for firing her. She asked me why and I scrambled for answers. “They’re just not satisfied.” I felt terrible. I felt like I let her down. And yet, I was told, “If she needed the money so badly, she should have done a better job cleaning.”

If it weren’t for the fact that I have to meet and do paperwork with the new cleaning lady this afternoon, I think I might go home sick for the rest of the day. My head is pounding and my anxiety has blossomed into a vague, bland numbness. All that remains is my exhaustion and the desire to spend the rest of the day in bed reading or watching TV.

Incidentally, I called the VP of the bank as soon as I discovered what had happened with the deposit and had him transfer the money back to the agency account right away. In a move that made me feel filthy and criminal, he called the office to be sure the accountant knew what had happened. She already knew because, as my friend, I had told her in a panic the moment I realized it had happened. She told me I still had to tell my boss about it. Fortunately, by the time my boss got in, the error had been fixed.

There is a part of me who wishes she had fired me so I could go home too. And a slightly bigger part of me who wishes she had at least yelled at me so that I might lose my temper and yell back at her in my own defense, and in defense of my friend who I feel was very unfairly fired.

Kinda funny...

2007-01-04T15:16:00.000-05:00

Where I work, I often am told things over the phone that make my blood run cold. Sometimes I hear about things that I used to think only happened in the movies or in big cities. But on rare occasion, I hear something that kind of makes me chuckle. Here is just such an instance from one of today’s telephone calls:

Me: “Okay…so now I need to you to give me a little information about why you need counseling. It helps our clinical staff determine who would be best suited to treat you.”

Anonymous: “Okay. Well…um…the court says I have to get counseling because...um...my husband? Well...he’s an alcoholic and…um…he fell off the wagon…and he got a D.U.I. And...um...when the police came to arrest him? They found some marijuana in the house. And he told them it was mine…because it was.”

Sam's new bed canopy

2007-01-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

Sam got it from Aunt Rachel and Uncle Jeff for Christmas. Cute, eh?

And, yeah, he has a Sneech (on the shelf).

Look at me now!

2006-12-28T15:11:00.000-05:00

I overheard my boss today saying that she wasn't encouraged by the upcoming first round of interviews to find my replacement because "We haven't gotten a resume for Wonder Woman yet." Yay for me!

P.S. Does anybody know where I parked my invisible jet? I can't seem to find it...

Hi-freaking-larious

2006-12-27T11:12:00.000-05:00

I had to share this website with you all because, when I stumbled across it last week, I darn near wet my pants looking at it. It's called the Museum of Kitschy Stitches and it features of vintage outfits, etc, that you can knit for yourself. Unfortunately, I don't think they publish the instructions, just the hilariously funny photos from the books, such as this one. And no, it isn't a head-shot for a failed tryout from Nacho Libre.

My excuses...(and a Merry Christmas, too)

2006-12-26T16:13:00.000-05:00

It has been a few days since I last wrote and I have a very good reason.

Wedendsday 12/20: trip to the hospital for a routine fluoroscopy. Routine or not, it still kind of sucked and ate up most of the day. I missed the office Christmas pot-luck too. Bah...

Thursday 12/21: Oral surgery. Thanks to the fantastic sedatives prescribed by the surgeon, I don’t remember any of this entire day except determining with Owen that Sam should see the doctor again because of some troubling, possible ear infection behavior. I was to learn that I was, indeed, correct and that Sam currently has bilateral ear infections. This brings the total ear infections since September to 6 (and don’t forget the Strep, Bronchitis and Pink Eye) and we now have to take Sam to see an ENT. Word on the street is that he may be a candidate for ear tubes. While I hate this for him, I would rather that than the constant ear infections we now struggle with.

Friday 12/22: To the U.P. for Christmas. There is no internet at the cabin and we were extremely busy hanging curling ribbon and Christmas bulbs from my mom’s eggbeater collection which hangs from the rafters. Also had to decorate all the antlers with garland.

Saturday 12/23: Christmas #1 with my family. Much hustle and bustle beginning way to early and going way too late. Thanks to everybody for all the fantastic gifts! They included a set of stainless silverware (they all match now!) and a new Kone (I think that’s how you spell it) that allows me to say to Sam: “No, sweetie, you can’t go into the kitchen until I Kone up the cereal you daddy spilled this morning.” Face it, you’re jealous. I asked for a dust buster because I thought I would be more likely to vacuum if I didn’t have to haul out the big one every time. I also got all the good period dramas so, if you feel like a little Jane Austin love-fest, come to my house!

Sunday 12/24: Christmas #2 with Owen’s family. Again, more thanks for more fantastic loot! Included: a family-sized George Foreman Grill and a VCR/DVD burner. This is too cool as we have been using a pencil-box sized DVD player I got free from Quill and have been afraid would die any minute. Also, now I can watch DVDs in bed, which I have not been able to do for almost 3 years. It’s the best when you’re sick, which I seem to be all the time.

Monday 12/25: Christmas morning brings with it a pile of goodies from Santa to Sam. Sam was actually very excited and played with all his new toys as long as could be expected when he hadn’t napped in 3 days. Had Cajun food for lunch and then Chinese for dinner. Now that’s something! All in all it was a low key day that we were all very ready for.

Tuesday (today): Went to the doctor to have strange rash examined that had appeared on Saturday. After looking for lesions in my mouth to make sure I don’t have Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (OMG – disgusting!), he determined that it is an Amoxicillin allergic rash and I now have one more thing to add to my list of drug allergies, almost all of which were discovered this year. The list also includes: morphine, codeine and whatever the hell they put in my drip after my surgery that kept my blood pressure so low that I passed out when I got out of bed. I am thinking I better find out the name of that one.

Comments?

2006-12-18T22:18:00.000-05:00

After posting this comment to Owen's blog this evening, I decided to post it here as well because, actually, I had been thinking about writing this entry all day. However, our accounting software decided to go bat-shit and I didn't have time. I was an hour late leaving work and then, I forgot about it until I read Owen's blog.

As I pointed out to Owen at [his company] party, the perfect example of the difference between his party and mine were that, while his party featured a large ice sculpture of the company logo that undoubtedly cost several hundred dollars, at our party, we didn't even have ICE...no kidding. We drank semi-warm pop.

Also, they were very proud that the company of 60+ employyes had sponsored two, count them TWO local foster children for Christmas. I was nonplussed. We've had retired copules sponsor entire families with 3 or 4 children at our office, buying them not only necessities like socks, underwear and food, but luxuries, like toys, books, games and a new 30" TV.

It just goes to show you that, while there are indeed instances of ostentatious and grossly self-indulgent overspending, there are also people who are so generous it will make you cry at how beautiful human kindness can be.

2006-12-14T13:49:00.000-05:00

tidbits

2006-12-12T09:58:00.000-05:00

Scariest recent nightmare: being attacked by Hannibal Lechter and, in self defense, beating him with a rickety aluminum rolling pin. (Recently, I have been taking Ambien for insomnia. That stuff causes some WIERD dreams.) Tied for second place: the accountant at my office marrying Sam's godfather in a swimming pool and then flying off in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for a honeymoon.

Best movie I've seen recently: The Holiday. If you have ovaries. GO SEE IT. Though I had never been much of a fan, Jude Law is beautiful and Jack Black is surprisingly not irritating. Eli Wallach makes a surprising and charming subplot and Kate Winslet is her usual fantastic self. On the downside, Cameron Diaz displays the acting ability of an awkward high school cheerleader. Her performance not withstanding, the movie was great and I loved it. Will definitely have to add it to my collection.

Movie quote of the day: "You have to be the leading lady in your own life..." Kate Winslet as Iris in The Holiday

Worst doctor experience in recent history: Yesterday. It resulted in no fewer than 7 needle punctures in my abdomen, a fainting spell and an appointment to go to the radiology department of the hospital later this week. Ugh. Though considerably discouraged at the moment, I am actually in good health.

Best Christmas pastime: Wrapping presents. I love it. So if you want help with yours, just give me a call and I would be happy to come help. The downside is no ribbon this year. All gifts must be transported to the U.P. and ribbons/bows will get squished. So, there will be no ribbons or bows as they are also superfluous and there will not be much time to add them once we have arrived in God's Country and I am not much for the adhesive bows. Come to think of it, I think I will throw in some curling ribbon anyway. I just can't let go...

Childhood illness(es) of the week: Pinkeye and bronchitis. That's right...both of them. That brings Sam's tally for the last 4 months to: 3 ear infections, strep throat, bronchitis and pinkeye. My tally is up to: Acute sinusitis (resulting in a doctor's note to stay home from work for 2 days), an upper respiratory infection, 2 ear infections and noteworthy complications following a semi-major surgery that resulted in an extra day at the hospital. I'm not sure who's winning. It's one of those "even when you win you lose" scenarios.

Bright spot: Sam sat on Santa's lap on Sunday. He fell asleep as we waited in line and woke up in Santa's lap, staring at him. As I expected, he was not at all afraid. Merely gave him the once-over and then went back to sleep. I didn't expect he would have that trauma other kids have because he is so outgoing and isn't afraid of anybody. Plus, Grampy looks a lot like Santa and he loves Grampy. My only surprise is that he didn't pull on Santa's beard.

Massacre at Bethlehem

2006-12-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

A Godzilla-baby has decimated the manger scene in the peaceful town of Bethlehem. However, if you look closely you can see that the Baby Jesus has survived the attack and is being lovingly tended by a sheep as the camel and donkey look on protectively.

Massacres occurring daily throughout the Christmas season. Tickets will be sold at the door on a first come, first serve basis.

An incredibly sad truth...

2006-12-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

We received a call at my office today from a woman who was looking for some help. Her story broke my heart, and has put a lump in my throat that I cannot easily swallow away.

She is living in a motel room with her three children, girls, ages 1, 2 and 3. During the day, they go with her to the daycare where she works. She also works at a restaurant in the evenings. I have no idea who keeps the children then. She called us because the children have no coats, and it is 13 degrees out today. She has run out of diapers. For dinner, her children eat cold ravioli from a can and, sometimes, the leftovers she brings home from the restaurant at night. Sometimes she also buys them ramen noodles, though I don’t know how they cook them. The children are under-sized and malnourished.

The family cannot be “adopted” for Christmas because they have no home, and not even a car, to hold any gifts. They cannot receive any fresh fruits, veggies or meats from the food pantry because they have no place to keep them. Even if she had the money, she could not rent out an apartment because she can’t move further than walking distance from her two jobs.

The next time you think you have it hard, please remember this woman, and remember how lucky you really are. It’s the holiday season and, if you are in any position to share any of what you have with others, I strongly urge you to. This woman’s story is not as unique as we would wish it was, and her family’s struggles will continue long after we put away our Christmas trees for the year.

The beginning of the longest day ever...

2006-12-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

When I got to work this morning at 8 a.m. (the time we officially open) I had no fewer than 6 voice mails waiting for me. Sometimes my boss likes to come in at 6 and start leaving me messages. You think I'm joking. And, yes, she really does start every single message like this. Here are a few:

"Hey Sarah, it's (my boss). Hey Sarah, I'm noticing the sign isn't in from outside yet and now the snow is here. I thought I asked you to bring it in. Now it's going to be a pain for you, I guess, huh?"

"Hey, Sarah, it's (my boss). Hey Sarah, I'm looking at this report and it says the hay bales were delivered last weekend. Will you go out and check and make sure they actually got delivered?" (Me: looking at them out the window as I listen to the message.)

"Hey, Sarah, it's (my boss). Hey Sarah, I put a letter in your box, will you please proofread it?" The unspoken part of the message: "So we can officially ignore all your grammar, punctuation and organization suggestions."

This is the best:

"Hey, Sarah, it's (my boss). Hey Sarah, I'm looking at and there is a bunch of information added to the bottom that doesn't really make sense to me. Why did you put it here? I just don't get it. And it doesn't look like it's updated, either."

My verbal response:

"Hi. Yeah...I put that stuff there because you asked me to last year. And no, it isn't updated because I only print that report once a year. I don't print a new one every month because then I would have to go in and write in all the information for the previous months again. The updates won't show up until next year when I print the new one."

My physical response: Poking my eyes out with pencils.

Remind me why I was so sad to leave again?

I'm a punk, baby

2006-12-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

2006-11-30T11:30:00.001-05:00

The end is nigh...

2006-11-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I quit my job. I didn’t have a fit and start to scream and throw things (as I dreamed I did over the weekend). I gave my boss a dignified letter explaining that I would be leaving in the end of January to do my student teaching. And, to my amazement, my feelings after making this disclosure were completely unexpected. Of course, I expected to feel better, having finally gotten it over and done with. And to some extent, I did. But what surprised me, overwhelmingly, was the feeling of complete and utter depression and the desire to just go home and lie in bed and cry.

This made absolutely no sense to me. As some of my more long-term readers may remember, I frequently hate this job. I don’t always hate it. Some days I feel so good about what little I am able to do. And some days I am inspired by the selflessness and generosity that working here allows me to see in other people. But more often than that, sadly, I am riddled with hatred for the mundanely stupid things I must do (like change light bulbs and empty the recycling), for my micro-managing paperwork-Nazi of a boss and her/our raging Hun of a supervisor, for the way it makes me see the world and how people sometimes treat each other, for the ridiculous circus that fund-raising and donations are. I have told myself for months that I just had to hang on a little while longer and that I would soon be done with this frustrating place.

And now that the end is in sight, I just want to cry. Why?? It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve hated this job and despaired that I’d never survive until student teaching with my sanity intact. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if it’s because in losing my job (or, more accurately, quitting) I am losing a little bit of how I see myself. For 2 ½ years, the person I see myself as and who I think others see me as, has been tied into this notion that I am working in a position of support for the frontlines of social change. Sure, I hated a lot of it, but change is hard, right? I am learning things and seeing things firsthand that most people will never see or learn. I guess in some ways it made me feel special to be there to lend comfort and support to survivors (if only over the phone) or to help haul donations in and out. It has given me a sense of contributing to making the world better, if only for one or two people on occasion.

And I suppose, to some extent I was fooling myself. I spent the majority of most days arguing with contractors, getting the vacuum fixed again, fighting with our house account holders at local grocery stores over the 19 cents sales tax we were inadvertently charged, getting yelled at by the secretary, trying to outsmart computers and think ahead of our computer users and/or politely explaining to angry donors why it isn’t financially responsible for a nonprofit to drive an hour away to pick up a donated mattress set (and lose money in the process) that is, in all likelihood, hollowed out and covered with pee stains and, for which, I should instead be expressing unparalleled gratitude and promising to personally come clean the donor’s entire bathroom with a toothbrush. I do know one thing, though. In our state’s current economy, I am terrified of the prospect of quitting a decent-paying job without having another one lined up. It’s going to be hard enough for us to be living on one income for 14 weeks but it will be even worse if it takes me another month or two to find another job, especially one that pays this well.

I swear we do actually feed him...

2006-11-28T15:25:00.000-05:00

Sam is on the move! He isn’t exactly upwardly mobile (he’s still too young to walk) but he is definitely horizontally mobile. He doesn’t crawl, exactly. He does what I like to call the “wounded army crawl” meaning that he pulls himself forward with one arm while dragging the other limply along and kicking a lot with his feet. Though he started out rather slow, he has now picked up the pace and can cross a small to medium-sized room in under a minute. He gets into everything. This has lead to me surreptitiously filling a small basket with his toys and putting it in the middle if the floor while hoping aloud in a voice the neighbors must hear, “Gee, I hope nobody gets into this basket of very expensive, special items. They are extremely fragile and irreplaceable and only grownups should touch them!”

Apparently, this has also lead to a couple of new preferences. The first is that he is utterly in love with feet. According to the ladies at daycare, he will drop anything (except maybe a tuna sandwich, see below) and hit the pavement if anybody, anywhere in the room looses a shoe. He’ll cross the room in a flash and have it in his mouth before anybody knows what’s going on. He seems to have an unnatural affinity for chewing on shoes, which makes me wonder if we accidentally swapped him out, at some point, with a puppy.

His other new habit has lead him to become what they call a “scavenger” in daycare. He has taken to hanging out under the lunch table while the bigger kids eat bigger kid food. He lies in wait like a hyena on the prowl, watching for somebody to drop a tasty little tidbit, which he instantly snatches up in his insistent little fists and attempts to…um…gum to death. (His first two teeth are coming in now and so he’s not exactly chewing yet.) In any case, yesterday I heard that they had to pry a bit of tuna sandwich that he “rescued” out of his grubby little fists. This is undoubtedly a quality he has gotten from his father because I, personally, would rather chew on shoes than eat a tuna sandwich.

To prove that we DO actually feed him, the following is a list of Sam’s Thanksgiving Day food firsts: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, candied apple, pickled beet, pumpkin pie and cherry pie. He will also hold a green bean in his hand and chew on it, though he doesn’t ever swallow any of it.

I didn't just fall off the liberal potato wagon, you know...

2006-11-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

Today I took a moment out of my lunch break to do a little Christmas surfing. My mom had mentioned that she was thinking about getting Sam a Cabbage Patch newborn for Christmas. Because I am a liberal-wacko, I am okay with this. Actually, I loved the idea. I have no qualms whatsoever about letting my little boy play with dolls. In fact, I like the idea of raising him to be loving and nurturing.

But here’s the hitch: no matter where either of us looked, all we could find was girl dolls and we were hoping to find him a little boy doll to play with. So I thought to myself that I would go straight to the source to see where I could find him a little boy doll: the Cabbage Patch Kids website. And what I found there was very disturbing in a pod-people-sci-fi kind of way. There are no boy newborns, only boy older kids! Where do the older boys come from, if not hatched in the cabbage patch like the rest of them? Oh the possibilities!

And it’s no wonder this country has issues with accurate sex education classes! This is way confusing! Girls are born as babies and grow, and boys just mysteriously appear. (Warning: sarcasm my be closer than it appears.) Perhaps this is a cleverly designed ploy of the ever-powerful male hegemony to reinforce the notion that pee does, in fact, just mysteriously appear on the toilet seat, dirty clothes do just appear on the floor and dishes do just appear in the sink. I know, I know! Boys come from the Mess Fairy, same as those other things, right?

On a more serious note, though, I am very disappointed. I had really attached myself to the idea of him having one. I suppose we could get him a different boy doll, but let’s face it, there’s just something different, something superior about Cabbage Patch Kids. Other dolls never quite measure up. Maybe he can just have a girl doll. I truly don’t know why gender is such a big issue. I guess it shouldn’t be.

Also, this reminds me of a little boy Owen used to work with at the preschool. I can’t remember his name, but he was very into cleaning and ironing in the housekeeping corner. All the other kids would be gathering for circle time and this little boy would be dust-bustering the rug or something. One day he tried to iron the wrinkles out of Mr. Owen’s forehead. While Mr. Owen didn’t mind, I daresay he has a ways to go before his ironing skills are on par with Martha.

Factoid of the day

2006-11-17T13:29:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Writer's Almanac...

It was on this day in 1968 that NBC executives made one of the worst broadcasting decisions in the history of network television, interrupting their coverage of a football game between the Oakland Raiders and the New York Jets in order to show the scheduled movie, Heidi, about an orphaned girl who goes to live with her grandfather in the Swiss Alps.

There was one minute left in the game and the Jets were leading by 32 to 29, when NBC went to a commercial. No televised football game had ever gone longer than three hours before, and executives weren't sure what to do. Timex had paid a lot of money to advertise during Heidi, and network executives figured the Jets would win the game anyway, so after the commercial break, the movie began.

Football fans were enraged. So many people called to complain that the NBC telephone switchboard in New York City blew 26 fuses. People were right to complain. What they missed was the Raiders coming back to score two touchdowns in the final minute, winning the game 43 to 32.

It was that game, and the storm of protest by fans, that forced TV executives to realize how passionate the audience for football really was. Two years later, networks began showing football on Monday nights as well. And because of that game, the NFL now has a contract with the networks that all football games will be shown until their completion.

A safe assumption...

2006-11-17T09:37:00.000-05:00

Let's just assume, from here on out (or, at least until Sam is in school) that this writer is writing/babbling after at least one night of less than 4 hours of sleep (and probably more than one, if recent trends hold). The cause of this sleeplessness might be, but is not limited to: a baby that has awakened crying at least hourly, stress-derived insomnia and/or compulsive reality TV-watching as a way of inspiring a sense of smug superiority that suffices as escapism. Let's just try to keep that in mind as a context in which these little "pearls of wisdom" (as Mrs. Meddler would have said in 10th grade Honor's Literary Allusions) are written.

Not that I'm making excuses because a.) I don't have to (I am the blog OWNER, after all) and b.) I do actually mean what I say. I just sometimes wish I'd said so with better grammar, better spelling and, on rare occasion, more gentility.

And...on a sad note, it occurs to me that this blog has not been the same, and has really declined in terms of comedic value, since the unfortunate departure of my beloved Velma (again, the cat, not the "Good-woman") and Roxie, the 3-legged, not-so-lucky-after-all cat who cost us $600 is amputation fees only to run off 3 months later. I miss them too much. As it turns out, for a non-animal lover (and, in fact, a dog hater), I am such a cat person. Life just isn't the same without them.

Oh man...there she goes again...

2006-11-16T16:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Anonymous person who still won’t take credit for his ideas:

I’d like to begin by thanking you for coming back to continue our discussion. It’s so nice to have a readership! However, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take issue with some of the things you mention in your most recent comment. I answer them this time because I feel so strongly about them. However, I think this will have to be the end of our dialogue because I also feel that in a publication, which is how I like to view this little blog of mine, you can beat something TO DEATH. And I think the rest of the readership gets tired of it. So I will answer you now and then this will be the end. (P.S. Text shown in purple is exact quote, copied and pasted from the comment. I refuse to take ownership of somebody else’s misspellings when I generate enough of my own.)

You say: “You may assert that certain groups of people have been oppressed throughout history, and maybe still are today; either institutionally, culturally, or on an individual basis, and I wouldn't attempt to dispute that. I do it myself. You do it. All sane human beings do it. It is an imperative of survival to make discriminatory judgement about another person's or group of persons' intentions when engaged in social transaction. If you don't you are soon extinct.”

I take issue with several things here. My first problem is that the fact that you refer to me making an “assertion” as though it were unsubstantiated fact or rumor. It is not. It is absolutely and 100% objectively true and, if you don’t agree with that notion, than I can’t hope to have an intelligent conversation with you because you are obviously incredibly deluded or you have just landed from another planet and have yet to read a U.S. history book (make that a truthful, unbiased U.S. history book). Secondly, one of the great things that separates us from the animals (besides opposable thumbs) is our ability to employ metacognition, our ability to think about how we think. Though many out there still act like it, we are not animals. We are, supposedly, highly advanced and well developed beings capable of employing rationalization to conquer the gut-reactions of base animal instinct. (This is demonstrable in that we have a criminal justice system that prohibits us from literally acting like animals to each other.) We are not in peril of extinction – far from it. And, again, if I am to suffer arguments of the impending extinction of the white, Christian masses, I must abandon any attempts at logical discourse. Long story short: We’re not animals, we’re supposed to know better.

You Say: “Life is unfair. It's a shame. What we can in an enlightened society is respect all people as individuals and judge them on their merits.”

First, I will not listen to another privileged, white male whine about the injustices of society. It’s like listening to a glutton whine about starvation. It’s bullshit. It’s easy, from your perspective, to say “Life is unfair, get over it.” Walk a mile in another person’s shoes for a week or two, brother, and then you can sing the blues with the best of ‘em. ( I suggest you do a little research on Standpoint Theory.) And secondly, if (and it’s a BIG IF) people in society WERE judged on their merits, then affirmative action programs wouldn’t be necessary. But it’s not, and you know it’s not. I know you know this because you just explained to me how it’s okay to be prejudiced. That, in fact, it is a matter of survival. Again…bullshit. If people were judged on their merits as individuals, then we wouldn’t have to make assumptions based on some perceived group membership.

You say: “The flaw is that you can not confer rights on a group, only on an individual.”

This baffles me, as a woman, since my right to vote is guaranteed under the 19^th amendment which grants women, as a group, the right to vote. As much as I would love to have my name personally amended to the constitution, I don’t see it happening. And, besides, what about our basic rights as members of the human race? Laws NEVER name specific people or individuals. They ONLY apply to groups of people.

You say: “You offer many examples of discrimination and institutional oppression, yet there's no emperical data to back it up. Saying women are below he poverty line is just statistical hokum.”

If you don’t know of the vast libraries of information and resources that empirically back up my exact statements, then I’m guessing you DID, in fact, just land here in a space ship. Try looking at the U.S. Census Data, for one. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research in Washington D.C., though only one fifth of all families are headed by a single mother, they make up nearly half of all families in poverty. A family headed by a single mother has an 86% higher chance of experiencing poverty. In 2002, almost 30% of female-headed families were living in poverty. Or, if you really want statistics, I can give you some that hit close to home. In the last fiscal year, the agency I work for sheltered 68 women and 74 children who survived domestic abuse. In addition, they handled 773 domestic abuse crisis calls and 70 sexual assault crisis calls, served 573 domestic abuse clients not receiving shelter and 221 sexual assault clients who did not receive shelter. So yeah, I do know what I’m talking about and can back it up with statistics. I could go on all day. I could write a book citing all kinds of empirical data sources to support every single point I mentioned. It IS NOT “statistical hokum.” That, sir, is a cheap-ass, “liar, liar, pants on fire,” bullshit cop-out. And, besides, it’s just not true. (P.S. Cheers to your wife. I wish more women AND MEN could afford to stay home with their children. You’ll hear no feminist rhetoric from me that puts her down. Raising a child is the hardest job a person can do. She’s a hero, plain and simple.)

You say: “There's no shortage of studies showing how allowing applicants into universities they're less qualified for only increases the chances they're going to fail; wasting the time and money that would have been succesfully invested at a lesser school.”

If all public schools received the benefit of equal funding, there is no doubt in my mind that there would be a better showing, in general, by ALL college students. A recent study shows that the reasons for lower graduation rates among minority students are "many and varied," including "personal or family financial problems." (i.e. not just because they’re dumber or less appreciative). Apparently, black and Hispanic students' "comparative lack of financial resources" and the striking differences in financial assets between whites and blacks, could be at fault. And let me just clarify one thing: one cannot confer rights on groups, but one CAN summarily disparage them as intrinsically “less qualified” solely on the basis of race? Ouch. What happened to looking at individuals? Fact: people ARE NOT getting an “equal shot” if they’re not starting from the same place. In addition, it IS NOT the student’s fault when he/she is not “qualified” for higher education. It is a failure of our public education and the failure of legislators who are okay with the fact that some schools have the best of everything (i.e. swimming pools, state-of-the-art technology, bathroom doors) while others are sitting desks that are falling apart and using textbooks that are 10 years old. For you to blame the student is just plain wrong. Unless you’re going to assert that some “groups” are just inherently less qualified. At that point you become racist and/or sexist AND wrong.

You say: “I would be so unbelievably resentful that I'm viewed as intrinsically less qualified to the degree that the government has deemed it necessary to give me special treatment.”

BELIEVE ME….those who benefit from affirmative action programs ALREADY resent our society for the endless crap they put up with in the course of trying to hack it through daily life. (Again, I refer you to an exploration of Standpoint Theory.) When it comes to getting a “break” from the government (or other affirmative action program), most people are happy for the break from the struggle. (And don’t even try to tell me how “bad” you have it. If you have a computer and time to comment on blogs, then you have no idea what “bad” is.) Affirmative action programs don’t confer low expectations on people. They acknowledge the lack of opportunity with which these people have been presented and attempt to level the playing field in light of it. And, furthermore, for you to even presume to think for these people is, to use your own words, “arrogant” and “condescending.”

You say: “How will we ever get past this nonsense until we live up to the ideals laid down by the framers that ‘all men are created equal.’?”

You will find the answer in your own quote. The framers of the constitution DID NOT include those same rights for women or people of color. At that time, in fact, people of color were not considered to be part of the human race at all, and the words you quote were not meant to apply to them. You have heard of the famous Three-Fifths Compromise, perhaps? That each slave counted as 3/5 of a “real” person? The rights set down in the constitution applied only to white men. And THAT is the source of the problems today. Those men were given privileges that women and people of color were denied. Those privileges have become so institutionalized since that time that some people fail to recognize their continued existence at all, though they are very much alive and well in our society. (Note: this writer wonders how smart it is to live up to the ideals of persons with poor grammar. But, I digress…)

You say: “I resent, however, that the support of the MCRI and proposal 2 somehow makes me a racist.”

It doesn’t necessarily make you a racist…it could actually make you sexist too. If you really weren’t either racist or sexist, then you would want women and people of color to have the same chances for success as those poor, privileged white man. If things truly were equal, then our Congress would be 51% female and would have a racial make up with proportions matching those of our population as a whole. Argue with those statistics.

Coprophobia

2006-11-15T16:40:00.000-05:00

“Coprophobia: An abnormal and persistent fear of feces (bowel waste). Sufferers of coprophobia experience anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational.”

There is a rogue poop on the loose in our house. I guess that’s what happens when you have kids. I took Sam’s diaper off this morning to change him and, in addition to the daily 10 gallons of water that saturate his little size 2 diapers, there were three little bitty pebble poops, perfectly round and hard and about the size of raisins. For a second I wasn’t even sure if they were poops, and so I bent down to get a good look at them and, sure enough.

And then in a twist that perfectly exemplifies the kind of mental illness that comes with having a baby, I called Owen in to show them to him. They were so unusual! But when he got there and I held up the diaper, it was empty.

Oh shit, I thought. Where’s the shit? It had rolled off and onto the changing table. But (gasp!) there were only two! One of them got away and I couldn’t find it. Of course, in that general area there were about a million places it could have gone and so, I suppose it will turn up.

But, for now, everywhere I go, I am on the lookout for the rogue poop. I checked the cuffs of my pants and the bottoms of my shoes…under the furniture and everything. It is in hiding, waiting until Sam is playing on the floor while I put his clothes away and then it will make a sneak attack. I will either find him eating it or wearing it. And I’m already saving up my loose change for the therapy session that’s going to require.

I am also now paranoid about finding poop all over the place, such as in our waiting room at work. I saw three different phantom turds there today, all of which turned out to be some organic compound dragged in by the feet of our clients…except for one, which was a piece of orange string. That would have made an ESPECIALLY BAD turd.

As promised...

2006-11-13T22:15:00.000-05:00

a picture of our little crustacean.
We thought he might be too small to be a lobster...maybe a prawn or a crawdad.

What 's cuter...

2006-11-13T22:02:00.000-05:00

than an infant with a penguin on his head?

on the move

2006-11-13T19:36:00.000-05:00

It's always a good time for Johnny-jump-up!

Sam sets a daycare precedent

2006-11-13T16:48:00.000-05:00

I used to secretly laugh at parents who talked about their children’s unusual and inflexible eating habits. I would think to myself, “what a chump…I guess we know who the boss is in THAT family….blah blah blah…” That was until I became one of those chumps. I have a child who will not eat anything green. And the kicker is, he doesn’t even know what green IS yet. But, I guarantee you, just you TRY to get him to eat green. It won’t happen. He literally sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and locks his jaw so tight that you couldn’t break through with a jackhammer. (He also does this when one tries to give him medicine, which is pretty much every day now that he has had two separate ear infections and strep throat within the last 6 weeks. Then I am forced to plug his nose until he opens his mouth to breathe and stick the eyedropper in.)

So I can’t say that I blame them at daycare when they allowed my angel-baby to set a new daycare precedent. He is officially the first baby to eat his solid food (i.e. baby food) while sleeping. How, you ask? Apparently he fell asleep sitting up at the little lunch table but he kept moving his mouth in the eating motions and so they just kept spooning his food in. Apparently he ate everything, even the peas. So I am thinking I’m going to have to get a pocket watch so that I can hypnotize him to sleep every night so that I can feed him his veggies. What else can I do?

The kid is TOTALLY IN CHARGE OF OUR HOUSE.

Dear Anonymous Commenter II...

2006-11-09T13:30:00.000-05:00

I have received yet another anonymous comment (OMG!! Grow some 'nads already...) Here are the contents of said comment:

"I believe you were misinformed on Proposal 5. It did NOT guarantee SCHOOL funding in line with inflation. It guaranteed teacher salary and pension in line with inflation. And if we guarantee it, where is the money coming from? If you read Devos or Granholm's platform they both promised to allow for more of the intended school funds to get to the classrooms. Right now only 56% gets to the classroom, the lowest in the nation. Proposal 5 would have NOT promised the money would go to the classroom. If the money would be spent where it is supposed to be spent there would be no need for a proposal 5."

So, Anonymous Commenter II, in response to your comment, I present, for you, the EXACT wording that appeared on the Michigan ballot (appearing in bold type). Please note that it was approved by the Board of State Canvassers on August 25, 2006. Please also note my emphasis, in a stunning violet color.

PROPOSAL 06-5

A LEGISLATIVE INITIATIVE TO ESTABLISH MANDATORY SCHOOL FUNDING LEVELS

The proposed law would:

Increase current funding by approximately $565 million and require State to provide annual funding increases equal to the rate of inflation for public schools, intermediate school districts, community colleges, and higher education (includes state universities and financial aid/grant programs).

Require State to fund any deficiencies from General Fund.

Base funding for school districts with a declining enrollment on three-year student enrollment average.

Reduce and cap retirement fund contribution paid by public schools, community colleges and state universities; shift remaining portion to state.

Reduce funding gap between school districts receiving basic per-pupil foundation allowance and those receiving maximum foundation allowance.

As you can plainly see, not only does it NOT mention mandatory raises for teachers, but it LIMITS contributions individual districts must make to retirement. Further, it also helps lessen the gap between the “have” districts and the “have not” districts. This is important to us Northerners because of the unbelievable funding disparagement between the downstate schools and schools up here. And you're right, it doesn't address the percentage of funding that makes it to the classroom, but that is hardly a reason to vote it down. I do think, however, that it might be a very good reason to draft a second law covering just that issue.

From what seemingly disreputable source did you get your information? I daresay you were misinformed. As a courtesy, I have highlighted the inaccurate statements in your comment in red. After all, it is MY blog...

Dear Anonymous Commenter...

2006-11-09T11:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday’s post received a comment from an anonymous reader (What is it with these people with such strong beliefs and yet who are unwilling to take credit for them? It baffles me…) who took issue with my comments about Proposal 2, dishonestly entitled the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. I would like to thank that anonymous reader for taking the time to comment and also for doing so in a civil, respectful manner. I think all politics would be so much easier if people could actually just talk issues instead of resorting to personal slander, so my hat’s off to you, Anonymous Commenter, for sticking to the issue at hand.

A portion of the comment reads “Every opponent that has spoken out about this proposal has failed to answer one simple question. Can you answer it? What is wrong with equal protection under the law?” (For the entire comment, click on the “comments” link at the bottom of yesterday’s post.) I will do my best to answer it, though I offer no guarantee that you will agree with my answer. But then, I guess if it were so cut-and-dry, there wouldn’t any debate bout it, would there?

Affirmative Action programs are important because they give people or groups of people a fair playing field. In my opinion, this IS “equal protection under the law.” Because my degree, my career, and the area I know best is Women’s Studies/Women’s Issues, I will address this matter from that vantage point. However, the same truths ring true for many of the minority peoples in this country as well, including, but not limited to, African American and Hispanic American cultures.

Programs that give so-called “preferential treatment” to women are put in place to help make up for the fact that, since this country was founded, women’s rights have been severely limited in comparison with their male counterparts. As you may know, despite the best efforts of Abigail Adams in persuading her husband to “remember the ladies” in the framing of the constitution, in the early days of our country, women were not allowed to vote, own property, seek higher education, speak publicly or enjoy many of the other freedoms enjoyed by males. In addition, until late in the last century, physical violence perpetrated on a woman by a man within the confines of a marriage was not only permitted, but was recommended. As a result, women in this country have spent dozens of decades “behind” in the rat-race to success.

Even in “modern” times, the barriers to education, self-improvement and even to successful careers in business and politics that have been systematically and institutionally imposed on women HAVE NOT provided them with “equal protection under the law.” Women remain the majority of persons living below the poverty line in this country. They are largely blocked from participation in higher-level politics, high-level positions of business and even from executive positions in the entertainment industry. Women also are more likely to suffer spousal abuse, sexual assault and murder at the hands of an intimate partner and, in the vast majority of these crimes, the perpetrators, who are almost always male, are never brought to justice.

Tell me, Anonymous Commenter, where has OUR equal protection been all these years? Where was it when the courts decided that there is no such thing as rape within a marriage? And where was it last week, when the Maryland Appeals court overturned a rape case, stating that a woman cannot withdraw her consent for sex after penetration has occurred? Where was it when women fought to gain entrance to male-only educational institutions? Where is it when the woman who is raped is convinced by the police and the prosecutor NOT to press charges? Where was it when our little girls were taught that their value lies in their beauty and compassion and not in their voracious little minds that start out every bit as hungry as little boys’ minds? Where is it when women are paid an average of 75 cents on the dollar to their male counterparts? Where is it when a middle aged woman dies of a heart-attack because studies about heart disease are only conducted on men and the ER staff don’t recognize the difference in symptoms in women, dismissing her as emotionally upset or pre-menstrual. Where is it when the female junior high student is encouraged to take child development courses rather than high-level math and science? Where is it when our little girls are sexualized to become victims while our little boys are militarized to become perpetrators? Where was in when women were intimidated away from filing sexual harassment claims and then fired in retribution? And why, Anonymous Commenter, is there no Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing under the law that women and men are equal?

So here is my final answer to you, Anonymous Commenter: Affirmative Action Programs are put in place to EQUALIZE the opportunities for woman to participate in “non-traditional” careers. They are designed to encourage girls from any income bracket and from any background to explore ANY career they choose, not just those traditionally considered “female” (and, coincidentally, low-paying). They are designed to help young women pay for and gain entrance to male-dominated educational institutions. They are designed to allow women THE SAME OPPORTUNITIES AS MEN. When women have finally broken through the limitations heaped on them by centuries of biased laws, unfair social practices and gender-based discrimination and when they HAVE “equal protection under the law,” then, and only then, will I be okay with the end of Affirmative Action Programs.

Oh (mostly) Happy Day!

2006-11-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

Governor Jennifer Granholm (a.k.a. “My Best Friend, Jenny”) has been reelected, maintaining not only a democratic leadership of this state, but also allowing Michigan to keep it’s B rating on the Political Participation index of women reflected in the “Status of Women in Michigan” report written by the Nokomis foundation and in Institute for Women’s Policy Research of Washington D.C. Not only does Gov. Granholm maintain a democratic sense of how the state should be run, but she maintains a powerful voice for women in the state of Michigan.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi of California has been nominated to become the first female speaker of the house. For those of you who haven’t watched your School House Rock recently, that means that she is third in line for the presidency should (heaven forbid) anything unfortunate happen to the president and the vice president (such as, say, another hunting accident).

Donald Rumsfeld has resigned. The PEOPLE have spoken…and the PEOPLE have decided that they have been lied-to in the most heinous way regarding the conflict in Iraq (FYI: it is not a war. It only becomes a war when the congress issues a Declaration of War, something that has not happened, by the way, since WWII.). Now if we can only get Cheney to stop pocketing money (via Haliburton) for the recovery effort, and get the services to the people of Iraq as we were supposed to have been. After all, they have poorer infrastructure now (worse roads, fewer hours of electricity, less usable water) than they did when we invaded with our weapons of mass distortion. (I guess we should have listened to the UN inspectors after all…)

The Dems have taken control of the House and (last I heard) possibly the senate. THANK GOD. Now, maybe, we can start fixing the problems with things like education and social programs.

Voters in Michigan are, apparently, schizophrenic. It’s the only thing I can figure to explain why we would elect almost all Dems to both the state and federal governing bodies and then screw up SO ROYALLY with our proposals. Proposal 2??? It could mean that I might just kiss my job goodbye. (That’s right, folks, it could result in a loss of funding for women’s agencies like mine.) And Proposal 5? How could we NOT choose to maintain school funding with inflation? Either we are a state of whacked-out and uninformed democratic voters OR the moderates and the more liberal of the Republicans are so phenomenally pissed out the situation in Iraq that they really, REALLY wanted to send a message. In any case, I do have to admit that I hang my head in a little bit of shame for living in a state that sees no benefit in helping women and people of color rise above the institutionalized hindrances to their success. It may be a Democratic club, but it’s still an old boy’s club after all. And one last thing: the only reason Proposal 2 even made the ballot was because of voter fraud. The entire campaign was a monumentally dishonest sham. And I quote: “he Michigan Civil Rights Commission, the governmental body charged with investigating civil rights violations in the state of Michigan, recently concluded an investigation of MCRI in which they found that MCRI had committed widespread and systematic racially-targeted fraud in their petition campaign to secure ballot access.” Courtesy of Wikipedia.

Now if we could just DO something about the ridiculous gay marriage ban...

Fascinating...

2006-11-03T08:39:00.000-05:00

Most mornings, on the way to work, I listen to NPR. And I'd like to think that, most mornings, I miss the segment called "StarDate" because it airs at 8:06 and I am at work by 8. However, this morning I was running a little late and I heard it. This morning's show was about the light-year and it was so interesting that I thought I would share part of it with you:

There's an easy way to visualize the light-year. If you shrank the galaxy so that the distance from the Sun to Earth were just one inch, then a light-year would be almost exactly one mile.

But the nearest star system to the Sun -- Alpha Centauri -- is more than four light-years away. To picture that distance, imagine a giant map on which Earth is one inch from the Sun. The most remote planet in the solar system, Neptune, would be about 30 inches away. But Alpha Centauri would be more than four miles away -- a reminder of the vast gulf that separates us from even our closest stellar neighbors.

If you want to read/listen to the whole thing, go to http://stardate.org/

I got tagged...

2006-11-02T11:18:00.000-05:00

Four jobs I’ve had:
Store manager – Blockbuster Video
Americorps worker – MSUE/Farwell Elementary
Sales Department Assistant – Nissui Corporation
Procedure Writer – BNFL, Inc./Big Rock Power Plant

Four movies I can watch over and over:
Sense and Sensibility
Pride and Prejudice (The BBC Mini-series. NOT the Kiera Knightly disaster)
My Fair Lady
Love Actually

Four places I’ve lived:
Traverse City
Miami
Mount Pleasant
Lansing

Four TV shows I love to watch:
Project Runway (Tim Gunn for President! – “Make it work, people, make it work.”)
C.S.I.
The Soup
America’s Next Top Model (and I am SO ashamed to admit it!)

Four places I’ve been on vacation:
The Outer Banks
Prague, Czech Republic
Krakow, Poland
Tourist Europe (i.e. London, Paris, Venice, etc.)

Four of my favorite dishes:
Grandma Alice’s chicken and dumplings
Chicken and Amish noodles (it isn’t very soupy)
My mom’s pot roast
Thick-crust pizza

Four sites I visit daily (well, maybe not daily, but often):
www.npr.org
www.feministing.com
www.google.com
www.imdb.com

Four places I’d rather be right now:
Home
Chicago
Ikea (Owen says I’m obsessed)
Prague (I am dying to see in winter and, um, it’s snowy here today)

Well....look who it is!

2006-11-02T08:26:00.000-05:00

I figured that, since I am going on 2 months now without so much as a peep, I maybe ought to try to write something to salvage what possible readership I have left. I can say with all honesty, though, that the big reason I haven’t written much is because I have been very busy both at home and at work.

At work we had out biggest fund raiser of the year. This is not as labor-intense for me as it used to be, but it does create a lot of hubbub. I have been behind at work for months and am now just finally getting caught up.

Our home life has been remarkably more exciting. Here are some of the bigger events that have happened since last I wrote:

We moved. Owen and Sam and I are now in our apartment. Though, as testament to how hectic things have been, there are still boxes all over the place.

I turned 28. Not a lot of work to be done there, but I thought it worth mentioning.

I had surgery…followed by some minor complications and a longer-than-expected stay at the hospital. No big drama there, though. They were as “routine” as complications can get. What wasn’t routine was the sinus infection I was diagnosed with less than a week later. How miserable.

We took Sam to the ER for the first time. He was experiencing massive vomiting and diarrhea and, by 2 a.m., we gave up and took him in. They gave him a suppository to stop the vomiting and within a day or so he was fine again.

We took Sam to the ER for the second time. Two days after we took him for the first time. It turns out, he had his first ear infection. He got a shot of antibiotic and, within 4 days, the doctor couldn’t even tell which ear had been infected.

8 days after he was pronounced “cured,” we took Sam in for his 6-month well baby visit and vaccines. He’d been running a mild fever, which we attributed to teething since he seemed fine otherwise. But it turns out that he has another ear infection. And, my sinus infection has returned. So great…history repeats itself in the most unpleasant ways.

We took Sam visiting for his first Halloween. It was too cold to take him trick-or-treating and he can’t eat candy anyway, so we just visited a few friends. Our little lobster was a big hit! (pictures to come soon)

And that’s about all. We still have a lot on our plates, but I will try to be better about positing more now that things seemed to have settled down a little bit. We’ll see how long that lasts.

4 mini-blogs

2006-09-12T20:56:00.000-04:00

5,000 Staples

Recently, at work, I passed a significant milestone. Not long after I started at the center, I had to procure a new box of staples from “the cabinet.” Well, at long last, I have used up the entire box and had to get a new one. I know what you’re thinking…staples? But I used a whole box! (And let me say, for the record, that I do not staple endlessly all day. In fact, I probably don’t staple as much as many other people who work there.) I have never used a whole box of staples before…have never been anyplace long enough to get through one. And for the record, I passed my two-year anniversary in June.

Amnesty

I find it interesting to note that, not only are we unwilling to grant amnesty to illegal aliens/undocumented workers/unnaturalized citizens, but we have also declared that there will be no such privilege granted to the poor ex-planet of Pluto either. (Does that mean it doesn’t get a capitol P anymore either? Oh! Let’s call it the planet formerly known as Pluto.) Apparently, Pluto had to be demoted because there were two other non-planets discovered and the choices were either to a.) promote those two new planets to official Planet status, or, b.) to deny planethood to all of them. It seems that allowing p/Pluto to maintain planet status because it was already “here” before all these shenanigans was not an option. There will be no planetary amnesty, it seems. Pluto is now officially a dwarf planet. (Is that P.C.? Should it maybe be little planet?)

Fact

It is impossible to sleep with fingers up your nose, especially when they’re somebody else’s fingers. Sam has had a cold since Thursday of last week and has slept in bed with us from the time he wakes up crying because he can't breathe until the morning because he gets so fussy. Last night, as I held him preciously close to me as only a mother can, he rewarded me by sticking one finger up each of my nostrils. He started at his new daycare on Tuesday and came home sick with his first cold ever two days later. I guess that’s life. He also has a new best friend, Andrew, who was born a week after him. The staff put them in the exer-saucers together where they babble and slobber in perfect boyish harmony. Mostly Andrew jumps up and down (he doesn’t talk much) and Sam stands there waving his arms and hollering at him (a quintessential example of genetics at work). Since he has been sick for 6 days now, we took Sam to the doctor today and were rewarded with both the knowledge that he does, in fact, have a cold and a bill for $20. We are obviously still learning.

Malady

I have a strange illness at the moment. On Sunday night, I had through sleeping because me feet were itchy, but I figured it was dry skin. By Monday morning I was mainlining Benedryl and scratching my back by scraping along the doorjamb like a bear scratches his back on a tree. I tried to make it through the day by counteracting the effects of the Benenryl with a secondary drip of Diet Coke but I eventually decided to see the doctor because it appeared that I was having a serious allergic reaction. . Not so. After two hours, a consult with a med student who was younger than I am and a visit with the seasoned veteran, it was determined that I have caught a bizarre virus that will have to run it’s course on its own. So now I have to go scratch...with scissors.

Thought for the day...

2006-09-08T09:43:00.000-04:00

It is statistically impossible for all of us to be above average. Some of you are bound to be bringing up the rear...

Yeah...you know I'm the sh*t...

2006-08-30T19:52:00.000-04:00

Laundry day

2006-08-30T18:09:00.000-04:00

Sam is already pitching in and doing chores around the house...

Storm Watch

2006-08-28T10:21:00.000-04:00

As we approach the 1-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina I have heard on the radio this morning that the keys are being evacuated because a storm is heading toward Southern Florida. As always when a storm heads in that direction, my friends and loved ones in that area are in the forefront of my mind. I hope they are okay and weather the storm safely.

Just one more reason not to read Forbes...

2006-08-23T14:05:00.000-04:00

Unquestioningly proving that they’re firmly entrenched in the old boys’ club, Forbes Magazine has recently published an article that takes a swipe at the progress women have made in their efforts to be self-sufficient, professional members of the labor force. This is NOT a dig on women who don’t work. In my book, the women’s movement and feminism give us the right to choose what we do, be it stay home or go to work. As long as it’s OUR CHOUICE, I don’t have any beefs. In fact, I have tremendous respect for women who stay home full time and I wish I could be one of them. Anyway, the article, entitled “Don’t Marry Career Women,” lists 9 reasons why working women are to be avoided. They are as follows:

You are less likely to get married to her. According to the article, “… (1) success in the labor market makes it harder for women to make a marital match, (2) women with relatively high wages and earnings search less intensively for a match, or (3) successful women have higher standards for an acceptable match than women who work less and earn less.” That’s right…don’t even date them because they’re not interested and you don’t meet their standards anyway. Way to beat them to the punch.

If you do marry, you’re more likely to get divorced. “Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect.” Of course, this can’t be a social problem to be addressed, can it? How about the fact that the average woman who works full time still performs more hours of work around the house than an unemployed man? This is a fact, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor statistics. It can’t be that these women get sick and tired of doing more than their fair share, can it?

She is more likely to cheat on you. “The work environment provides a host of potential partners, and individuals frequently find themselves spending a great deal of time with these individuals.” Translation: don’t let them out of the house….working women are sex-starved from working long hours with no nookie and are actively looking for the next best thing. What about the men in this scenario? This is GOOD news for them…they no longer have to pay expensive bar bills to find people to cheat with.

You are much less likely to have kids. “Most women want kids,” but career women don’t seem to have time. And what good is a woman without a child? How will we continue to grow the ranks of The Party, otherwise? Unless, of course, she is screwing around on you with a coworker(see one paragraph up) in which case, she will have kids but YOU won’t.

If you do have kids, you wife is more likely to be unhappy. This is confusing, since we have just learned that most women want kids. But apparently, “wealthier couples with children suffer a drop in marital satisfaction three times as great as their less affluent peers.” Still….it must be the kids. Can’t be all the “keeping up with the Joneses” materialism that modern families face, can it?

Your house will be dirtier. “If your wife has a job earning more than $15 an hour, she will do 1.9 hours less housework a week.” Here’s my solution: GET OFF YOUR ASS AND HELP OUT. Don’t just decide that it’s not work getting married. Who would do all your whousework then? A maid? Or move back in with your mommy so she can fold your whitie tighties just right and cut your PB & J into little triangles with the crusts cut off.

You’ll be unhappy if she makes more than you. “Married men's well-being is significantly lower when married women's proportional contributions to the total family income are increased.” That’s right…if she doesn’t need you for your money then she won’t want you for anything else. After all, she’s already having sex with her co-workers.

She will be unhappy if she makes more than you. “American wives, even wives who hold more feminist views about working women and the division of household tasks, are typically happier when their husband earns 68% or more of the household income.” My take: this is probably because all the whiners from the scenario above won’t shut up with their paranoia and complexes about not being the big man around the house. Of course we’re happier when they’re happier. Duh.

You are more likely to fall ill. “Having a wife who works more than 40 hours a week has substantial, statistically significant, negative effects on changes in her husband's health over that time span.” Must be the lack of cleaning…imagine all the bacteria and fungi that build up year after year. They are probably more statistically likely to get the plague. Or HIV and genital warts from their cheating wives. The article also says, “wives working longer hours not do not have adequate time to monitor their husband's health and healthy behavior, to manage their husband's emotional well-being or buffer his workplace stress. “ Because that’s our job…to monitor his health…buffer his stress. As far as I’m concerned, this is just another form of Darwinism. If they’re so frail as to need somebody to monitor their health, then we should probably just eliminate them from the herd. And if they won’t go to the doctor on their own, that’s their problem. Oh…and if we are to buffer their stress…who will buffer ours?

And the article manages to drive in one more stunning slam against working women: “To be clear, we're not talking about a high-school dropout minding a cash register. For our purposes, a ‘career girl’ has a university-level (or higher) education, works more than 35 hours a week outside the home and makes more than $30,000 a year.” The rest of them, apparently, don’t have careers. The woman who works over 60 hours per week at two minimum-wage jobs to make sure her kids are fed and babies have diapers…they don’t count. Apparently that’s not a career. I guess maybe it’s just survival. That’s undignified that they don’t even merit consideration. Who would want to marry them anyway?

What a crock of shit.

2006-08-11T08:15:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday, Aunt Rachel!

(Actually, her birthday is tomorrow)

(Clearly, he likes the sign. So much, in fact, that he would like to eat it.)

The story of squash

2006-07-31T21:23:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who had a hard time making poopies. After his mama and daddy decided that suppositories were absolutely no fun, they decided to feed him squash instead. As it turned out, squash was his first big-people food ever. At first he thought he might like it.

But then after he got a taste, he changed his mind! Squash is yucky!

Then, the little boy decided he would rather eat his bib. Besides, if he had his mouth stuffed full of bib, how could his mommy get any suash in?

But his mama, she was pretty smart and she got the squah in anyways. It was still yucky.

After a few bites, though, the little boy came around. He decided squash wasn't so bad!

I'm just saying...

2006-07-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

On the reasonably good chance that the News-Review chooses not to print the letter to the editor I wrote them this morning, I am going to post it here too. I will be heard, damn it!

Dear Editor,

I am writing to express my absolute disgust at what I saw while driving to work in Petoskey this morning. A group of anti-abortion activists was lining both sides of US-31; young people stood on either side of the road holding up massive signs depicting the bloodied corpses of dead babies. Believe me, for those of you who were fortunate enough not to see this atrocity, it looked far worse than it sounds.

Abortion politics aside, I must express my horror and condemnation at these protestors’ tactics. I ask you, would it be acceptable for people who protest the death penalty to hold similar signs depicting the burnt and mangled corpses of those who have been executed in the electric chair? I think not.

No matter what side of the debate you favor, I am hard pressed to understand any logical argument why children who happen to be passing on the street should have to see these horrific, scary images. Such images in a film would get it an “R” rating, and yet for some reason it is okay for them to be shown on the street.

Indeed, these individuals have a right to free speech guaranteed under the First Amendment, a fact that I would not change even under these circumstances. However, with that right comes the responsibility to respect others, an obligation that these protestors seem to have missed.

There are far better ways to make a point. Seeing those signs this morning did absolutely nothing to change my stance on abortion. It simply made me disgusted by those individuals who were there this morning to voice their opposition to it. I cannot imagine listening to the opinions of such obviously demented individuals.

Sincerely,
Me

Clearly I am in the mood to be righteously indignant today. I am personally offended at the drop of a hat. Among the other things that have truly pissed me off is a document entitled “Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons” written by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, an office of the Roman curia (the governing bureaucracy of the Catholic Church). This 2003 document puts forth the official church standpoint on gay marriage, including the following points:
- homosexual activity is intrinsically unnatural and immoral
- Marriage was instituted by God between sexually complementary persons who are able to procreate (ha! Notice it doesn’t say HOW MANY! Hehehehehe)
- Gay marriage would undermine the traditional concept of marriage, thereby causing great damage to society
- It is the duty of Catholic politicians to openly oppose and combat gay marriage.

Luckily this document was presented within the Catholic Church edition of the Opposing Viewpoints book series. I highly recommend this series. It provides both sides of a wide variety of issues under certain topics. Thankfully, I was saved from spontaneously combusting in a rage of fury, by the counterpoint, written by Matthew Fox (as far as I know, this is not the same Matthew Fox from Lost and Party of Five and is, thus, credible). Fox’s points are as follows:
- The church has a history of being somewhat behind the curve when it comes to dealing with the disconnect between faith teachings and scientific fact. Just Galileo, who was just recently (in 1992) pardon by the church a mere 359 years after he was condemned by daring to suggest that the sun, and not the earth, was the center of the solar system.
- Homosexuality IS natural. Approximately 10% of any human population is homosexual and there are at least 64 known animal species with homosexual populations including (gasp!) dolphins. (Had the religious right known this all those years ago, perhaps we could have been spared the antics of Flipper…)
- “A church that wants to teach love ought to be encouraging monogamous and established relationships of love instead of forcing gay people into self-hated and sometimes into practices of promiscuity that separate love from sexual expression.”
- Gays do, indeed, serve the common good. For example, a gay artist named Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti (you may know him simply as Michelangelo) painted a pretty awesome ceiling in a chapel in Rome. Perhaps you have heard of the Sistine Chapel? It only took him 4 years to finish. Not bad, eh? Other famous gays who contributed to the greater good? Socrates, Plato, Virgil, Leonardo DaVinci, Sir Francis Bacon, Shakespeare, Caravaggio, Lord Byron, Walt Whitman, Emily Dickinson, Henry James, Arthur Rimbaud, Oscar Wilde, Marcel Proust, Willa Cather, Gertrude Stein, Virginia Woolf, Ma Rainey, Cole Porter, Margaret Mead, Marlene Dietrich, Langston Hughes, Greta Garbo, Tennessee Williams, Leonard Bernstein, Michel Foucault, Allen Ginsberg, Andy Warhol and Audre Lorde among countless others.

Now...nobody better cut me off on the way home...

Death, birds, Ativan and nail polish...

2006-07-12T14:37:00.000-04:00

Well…I have to tell you that I am not the same person I used to be. There is something new and different about me. I have changed. On Monday I had oral surgery to remove a tooth that was damaged by a quack-ass dentist in Lansing over 5 years ago. Long story short: he messed up, my tooth got infected and it had to be pulled. Now I am a hick northerner because I have a gap where there should be a tooth and there isn’t. My dentist says the area has to completely heal before they can move on to phase two: an implant. Ha! I’m getting an implant…not a silicone death-bag, though. A tooth.

Anyway, that’s not really what makes me different. I mean, sure, I feel like white trash what with one of my teeth missing and all (at least it’s in the back where you can’t see it!) but there’s more to my story. I now have dead-person tissue residing in my body. That’s right – I had to have a bone graft of cadaver bone. Crazy, eh? I’m thinking that from now on I can blame the dead person’s tissue for wanting to eat all the junk food. It’s a great alibi. “It isn’t my fault…the cadaver part of my mouth really WANTED an ice cream cone. I can’t control it. It’s like that pseudo-horror movie Idol Hands…at least I think…I’ve never actually seen that movie.” I suppose I am just another person out there, living proof of how important it is to donate your organs…where would I be without my dead person’s bone in my jaw, I ask you? I don’t bet many people think of that when they decide to donate their organs. And do you know how much it cost? Over $600! I bet the dead person didn’t see a dime of that money. What a cash cow!

In other death-related news, last Thursday I drove down to TC so Sam and I could go to the Junior Royale Parade at the Cherry Festival. On the way down I hit two birds at one time with my car. Apparently they were too busy doing that whole mating/flirting in mid-air kind of wild and crazy flying when their ecstasy was suddenly interrupted by the grill of my car. Luckily, it didn’t leave a mark. I think that might be a quintessential example of Darwinism at work. Stupid birds who get hit by a car while making sweet love obviously should not pass on their genes to future generations.

This reminds me of one winter several years ago when I was finishing my degree. I was driving home one weekend when some big blackish brownish flying something went WHAM right into the front of my car. I didn’t think much of it…debris or maybe a bird or something. Then I got home to find a massive hole in the grill of the car. Massive as in about 10” across. I showed Owen who wasn’t happy but, hey, this is Northern Michigan…it happens. A couple of days later, when he was looking at it, he noticed that the dead thing was still in there! (It was winter…couldn’t smell rotting flesh what with it being fricking freezing.) He pulled it out and can you guess what it was? An owl…who kills an owl in a hit-and-run? I mean, really…

Back to the topic of my tooth…I would like to recommend that everybody who is going in for an extraction should ask for 4 mg of Ativan ahead of time. Let me just say that I do not remember much of Monday at all. In fact, yesterday I noticed that my thumb nail was painted and I had no recollection of painting it. Apparently, Owen wasn’t watching me very closely and I painted it at the drug store while waiting for my prescription to be filled. I guess I told him that it was okay, and that they wouldn’t mind. I’m a little bummed, though, because as it turns out, I like the color a lot and I have no idea where/how to find it again.

F.Y.I For You

2006-07-06T14:13:00.000-04:00

So...this is what I do at work. Since I started here two years ago, many of you have asked me, "Sarah, what is it that you do at work all day?" Well, here is your answer. It's not the WHOLE list of EVERYTHING...but it's mostly everything.

Daily bank deposit
Bill and petty cash reconciliations
Write and distribute two newsletters
Supply inventory/orders
Coordinate the attorney rotation (for legal advice)
Arrange for pickup of donated furniture
Perform light maintenance (such as repairing vacuum cleaner, replacing light bulbs, etc.)
Schedule maintenance/repairs of facilities and equipment
Update building inspection list and acquire documentation of inspections of all offices/properties
OSHA record-keeping (updating posters, MSDS books, etc)
Troubleshoot/repair technology for all offices
Train staff in use of technology
Make technology-related recommendations
Coordinate long-term technology projects (such as file management, database creation, etc.)
Take photos for the archives
Create press-releases, classified ads and display ads
Design of posters, flyers, handouts, etc.
Track Specific Assistance
Pay bills (occasionally)
Process credit card charges
Make hotel reservations and request applicable payments for workshops, conferences, etc.
Assist in maintaining procedural manuals and job description updates
Maintain organization of storage spaces such as supply cupboards, closets, basement and shed.
Attend meetings for and assist in coordinating/planning fund-raising event planning (Side Door, WWT, WC/WD, etc.)
Arrange for work-release volunteers
Anything else nobody is sure whose responsibility something is and for which nobody volunteers on their own