Tuesday, September 12, 2006

4 mini-blogs

5,000 Staples

Recently, at work, I passed a significant milestone. Not long after I started at the center, I had to procure a new box of staples from “the cabinet.” Well, at long last, I have used up the entire box and had to get a new one. I know what you’re thinking…staples? But I used a whole box! (And let me say, for the record, that I do not staple endlessly all day. In fact, I probably don’t staple as much as many other people who work there.) I have never used a whole box of staples before…have never been anyplace long enough to get through one. And for the record, I passed my two-year anniversary in June.


I find it interesting to note that, not only are we unwilling to grant amnesty to illegal aliens/undocumented workers/unnaturalized citizens, but we have also declared that there will be no such privilege granted to the poor ex-planet of Pluto either. (Does that mean it doesn’t get a capitol P anymore either? Oh! Let’s call it the planet formerly known as Pluto.) Apparently, Pluto had to be demoted because there were two other non-planets discovered and the choices were either to a.) promote those two new planets to official Planet status, or, b.) to deny planethood to all of them. It seems that allowing p/Pluto to maintain planet status because it was already “here” before all these shenanigans was not an option. There will be no planetary amnesty, it seems. Pluto is now officially a dwarf planet. (Is that P.C.? Should it maybe be little planet?)


It is impossible to sleep with fingers up your nose, especially when they’re somebody else’s fingers. Sam has had a cold since Thursday of last week and has slept in bed with us from the time he wakes up crying because he can't breathe until the morning because he gets so fussy. Last night, as I held him preciously close to me as only a mother can, he rewarded me by sticking one finger up each of my nostrils. He started at his new daycare on Tuesday and came home sick with his first cold ever two days later. I guess that’s life. He also has a new best friend, Andrew, who was born a week after him. The staff put them in the exer-saucers together where they babble and slobber in perfect boyish harmony. Mostly Andrew jumps up and down (he doesn’t talk much) and Sam stands there waving his arms and hollering at him (a quintessential example of genetics at work). Since he has been sick for 6 days now, we took Sam to the doctor today and were rewarded with both the knowledge that he does, in fact, have a cold and a bill for $20. We are obviously still learning.


I have a strange illness at the moment. On Sunday night, I had through sleeping because me feet were itchy, but I figured it was dry skin. By Monday morning I was mainlining Benedryl and scratching my back by scraping along the doorjamb like a bear scratches his back on a tree. I tried to make it through the day by counteracting the effects of the Benenryl with a secondary drip of Diet Coke but I eventually decided to see the doctor because it appeared that I was having a serious allergic reaction. . Not so. After two hours, a consult with a med student who was younger than I am and a visit with the seasoned veteran, it was determined that I have caught a bizarre virus that will have to run it’s course on its own. So now I have to go scratch...with scissors.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Thought for the day...

It is statistically impossible for all of us to be above average. Some of you are bound to be bringing up the rear...