Happy Mardi Gras Everybody! I want you all to know that I have eaten a Paczki in your honor today. Not because I wanted to, but merely it is a requirement to do such a thing in celebration of Fat Tuesday…when you are supposed to eat things that make you fat and drink too much. I am skipping the drinking part this year.

As many of you may know, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. In the Catholic faith, it is the beginning of the season of Lent, the 40-day countdown to Easter Sunday. It occurred to me last night, and damn near caused a panic attack, that this also means it is 40 days until my due date, which is Easter Sunday. And let me say for the record that 40 days sounds a heck of a lot shorter, for some reason, than “a little less than 6 weeks.”

This week Sam and I have officially been a couple for 33 weeks. I’ve read that he is theoretically just about as long as he’s supposed to get and, from here on out, he’ll just be bulking up to get rid of those unsightly wrinkles. Click here for more information about week 33.

What love really is...

I'm taking advantage of my position as "owner" of this blog to deliver another one of those serious moments. Yesterday on NPR, I heard one of the most touching stories I've heard in a long time. It's a part of NPR's Story Corps programs and is about an aging couple, Danny and Annie Perasa, who live in New York.

They have been the darlings of the Story Corps program since they shared the story of their first date in 1978 at one of the Corps recording booths in 2004. If you click here, it will take you directly to the page with the Perasa's story. At the top there is an icon that says "listen" which will allow you to listen to yesterday morning's broadcast. I highly, highly recommend it. There is also a photo gallery of the couple, as average as any couple could be.

At the time of their most recent recording, they'd been married for over 25 years and, Danny was suffering from terminal pancreatic cancer. Sadly, after yesterday morning's airing of the story at around 9 a.m. ET, Danny died in his sleep at about 2:30 p.m.

I am becoming my mother...

Yesterday, after I had finished using the ladies room, I caught myself TUCKING MY UNDERSHIRT INTO MY UNDERWEAR. I'm tired of it riding up over my belly all the all the time (it isn't a maternity top). But then it occured to me...my sister and I have teased my mom for doing that for years. So there you have it...it's inevitable. I am becoming my mother. But then it occurs to me...I don't mind so much. There are a lot worse people to become.

Happy Friday

I have a co-worker who hates me. Today is yet another of her seeminly random "pretend Sarah Doesn't exist days." She will neither look at me nor speak to me (except when she wants to tell me to do something).

I think her anger has something to do with the fact that I came in at 9 today instead of 8. Why? Because I was fortunate enough to have to work an 11-hour day on Wednesday. I'm not allowed overtime and, therefore, I have to take comp time within the same pay period, which ends today. This and the fact that I left an hour early yesterday obviously makes me evil. Just wait until I get to my two-hour lunch today.

I think she may also hate me because she was demoted out of my job shortly before I was hired. Clearly this is also my fault. She is extremely bossy (perhaps not the best trait in a secretary) and often forgets that she is neither my boss nor my mother. It never goes well for me when I have to remind her of this.

Why am I writing all of this? I don't know...I guess I needed a venue to vent a little. But when I checked my email this morning and got the following message from my sister, it seemed not only extremely timely, but appropriate.

The hazards of sitting in the front row at church

This weekend Owen and I experienced one of the time-honored traditions of pregnancy: the “Oh My God she’s in labor” scare. Fortunately, and somewhat humorously, it was not either of the two of us who were scared.

In an effort to be good parents, we decided several months ago that we would begin attending church again. The only problem is that we don’t like the only Catholic Church in our community. And so we drive every Sunday morning to go to church with Owen’s mom, at the church where he and I were married and where he went all the time as a kid. They always sit in the front row, which means we always sit in the front row too. This has two distinct disadvantages: 1.) everybody can watch you and 2.) you can’t sneak out unnoticed to use the restroom.

This week at church, I was not feeling so well. My breakfast was not sitting well inside me and I was just feeling off. As it happens, during one of those very long standing up parts that occurs at the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I began to feel very light headed, woozy and very hot (and I never even take my coat off in church because it’s so cold in there). This is of particular note because I felt the same way when I passed out at the dentist’s office recently. So, I decided it would be for the best if I sat down for a minute. I admit, I may have kind of plopped into the pew. I bowed my head and closed my eyes and tried to just let everything settle for a minute.

After church we stopped at a gas station to fill up and the two ladies who had been sitting behind us at church pulled in to fill up too. Owen was out doing the dirty work and I was sitting inside, but I could hear him engage them in the following conversation:

Them: “How is your wife? Is she okay?”
Owen: “Oh yean, she’s fine. She was just feeling a bit light-headed.”
Them: “Oh good – we thought maybe she had gone into labor! But we knew everything would be okay because we’re both nurses! We could have handled it! When is your baby due?”
Owen: “Easter Sunday…April 16th.”
Them: (Oohing and aahhing)

Owen thinks they may have been disappointed at not having been able to play such an important role in the Christ Child’s second coming right there in the middle of the front row at church. I told him that I have no intention of going to church when I’m in labor.

And (I almost forgot!), here is this week's update on Sam's growth and development. This week marked 32 weeks of development - more or less 8 months.

This makes me chuckle...

(To see more, hit the Natalie Dee link to the right.)

Beam me up, Scottie

I have finally reached the end of what has proven to be a very long week at work. The combination of next weekend's fund-raiser and this week's computer crisis ate up the vast majority of my time this week and, sadly, left me with too little time to blog and, when I did have time, I was too tired. I came home and went to sleep on more than one afternoon this week.

Today proved to be one of those days where it's a darn good thing it's Friday and my coworkers don't know how lucky they are that nobody got seriously hurt. I attribute this lack of injury to two things: first, the fact that stayed in my office with the door closed for most of the day and, second, that I was able to use my laser look of death to convince both my email and voice mail to remain inactive for the vast majority of the day. I attribute this largely to the good karma I gained by getting in trouble for several ridiculous things before lunch including:

- Sending an email to our event organizers asking them if the volunteers could please have a place to relax and, perhaps, a bottle of water and a snack. I know...it's obviously unreasonable and I should have known better.

- Asking to be informed when one of my coworkers calls in sick and I am expected to cover for her. I am attributing my lack of ESP to sleep deprivation.

- Stapling the pages of an incoming fax all together before giving them to the appropriate recipient. ("Could you PLEASE use paper clips???") I know, I know...thoughtless on my part. For shame.

I think, in light of these events and the fact that I threatened to go home for the day at lunch time, the powers that be recognized that I needed a break.

I do have a humorous moment to share, however. This week's computer crisis has resulted in my having to go through caches and histories on a few computers at work to make sure that they have not been used for illicit purposes. I was given a list of websites that I needed to check for adult/illicit content, many of which were OBVIOUSLY pornographic (for example, ratemyc*ck.com). It would seem, however, that in our paranoia, some us may have gotten a little over zealous. One of the sites on the list was "Therapist.com" It would seem that, instead of reading the name of the site as "Therapist," it was interpreted to read as "The Rapist." Thus, I was given a moment to chuckle during the stresses of the week.

Hypothetically speaking...

WARNING: Owen encouraged me to write this so, nice people at the NSA, if you are monitoring this and you come to get me, you should plan get him too – I’m not going down for it alone. Also, he says that if you do come arrest me, the ACLU will be all over you for putting a sweet, pregnant woman such as myself in prison.

DISCLAIMER: This blog entry in no way whatsoever encourages any harmful action to either the president or any other living person. It is this writer’s opinion that not only is such encouragement morally and legally wrong, it is a completely unnecessary. This writer is a firm believer in Darwinism…and will consider that enough said.

This morning, one of my coworkers and I were musing on the weekend activities of our not-so-expert marksman vice president. We began to wonder what would have happened if, say, the VP had actually been out hunting with the president (the kind and patriotic people of the CIA, FBI, Secret Service and all other government trollers will please notice that this is the part where I DO NOT advocate bodily harm towards any living person…it would be an accident…a fortunate accident, but an accident none the less) and, perhaps, had not been so fortunate as to have had his shotgun loaded with birdshot. Odds are it would have been fatal, since the poor little old man who the VP did shoot received pellets in the right side of his face and neck and right shoulder.

It doesn’t seem right that the VP should be able to shoot the president and then take his job. Yikes! So I guess that would make the speaker of the house the new president, wouldn’t it? J. Dennis Hastert, come on down, you’re the next contestant on Screw The Nation!

Our first "playtime" with Sam

I read this morning that, now that he is at 31 weeks, Sam should weight about 3 pounds, 5 oz. and measure about 16 inches long. It’s funny how he can seem so big and so small at the same time. We went to the doctor last week and, once more, she informed us that all was well and progressing normally. She also said that she would see me back in her office in 3 weeks and then every week after that. So I guess that means we’re getting down to the wire. This next Sunday (2/19) will be officially the 8-month mark. To read more about Sam’s progress, click here.

Sam and Owen had fun “playing” for the first time last night. Owen would gently poke my belly in one spot 3 or 4 times and then lay his hand flat on that spot and Sam would poke back from the inside. They did this for 10 or 15 minutes and it was really kind of thrilling for both of us. I had read about playing this “game” in one of my books but was really skeptical about it. And maybe it was a fluke – who knows. But we both had a good chuckle with it.

Meme Meme Meme

In honor of the fact that today is Friday and my brain is fried because I was up worrying about work much of last night (that counts as work time, right?), I have decided to treat myself to a little diversion by copying Owen’s latest meme.

For the record, I consider memes “blog cheating” even though I love to both read them and fill them out. So here I am…cheating…

*****

10 Favorites

Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Food: Right now I’m kind of hooked on very cherry fruit cups
Favorite Month: I love June…and my VACATION by the sea!
Favorite Song: Power of Two by the Indigo Girls
Favorite Movie: Pick one? You MUST be joking…
Favorite Sport: Does bargain shopping count? It’s very competitive.
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Day of the week: Saturday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked
Favorite Time of Day: Evening. It used to be bedtime…but that’s no fun anymore.

9 CURRENTS

Current Mood: 100% ornery…constantly
Current Taste: Huh?
Current Clothes: Khakis with a big old panel and a big-ass oxford
Current Desktop: Microsoft “Peace”
Current Toenail Color: Technically lavender…though most of it is chipped off and I can’t reach to repaint them very well.
Current Time: 1:57
Current Surroundings: My office
Current Thoughts: I am thinking…maybe tomorrow is a good day to spring for a pedicure

8 FIRSTS

First Best Friend: Dawn O….who I hated in high school
First Kiss: 6th grade…in front of the Palmer House Hotel in Chicago
First Screen Name: I can’t remember
First Pet: Henry…a loveable mutt
First Piercing: One of my ears…and then I wasn’t having it and so my mom fought me to pierce the other one, so they’re crooked.
First Crush: Christopher Reeve as Superman
First CD: Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation

7 LASTS

Last Cigarette: Never ever never
Last Drink: It’s been a long time…more than a year. I can’t remember.
Last Car Ride: back from lunch with Owen
Last Kiss: From Owen, in the car, before I came back up to work.
Last Movie Seen: Grizzly Man. I highly recommend it but that man is completely Fruit Loops!
Last Phone Call: Bill, the techie, calling to tell me that he is half an hour late (in case I hadn’t noticed)
Last CD Played: I don’t listen to CDs anymore…I listen to playlists. I am currently listening to my “Hospital” playlist – trying it out.

6 HAVE YOU EVERS

Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: Nope
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes…but I destroyed the evidence.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: All the time as a kid.
Have You Ever Been on TV: Only a few background appearances on the local news
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes. (and now I have the heebie jeebies remembering…THANKS)

5 THINGS

Thing You're Wearing: A very large, very comfortable oxford
Thing You've Done Today: Watch the seconds tick ever-so-slowly by
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: “I Can’t Make You Love Me” – Bonnie Raitt
Thing You Can't Live Without: My comfy chair, my glasses, the TiVo, and my manservant (you may know him as Owen)
Thing You Do When You're Bored: Watch TV

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. Home
2. Work
3. The Shelter
4. Back to work (and that was all before lunch)

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO

1. Owen
2. My sister
3. My mom

2 CHOICES

1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Either one, but never in between.

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Travel to Russia

I am really glad today is almost over because...

I just tried to hang the phone up onto my tape dispenser.

It's been a long day.

Now, if only I could find some way out of Lamaze because, honestly, I'm in no mood to hear how evil I am if I choose to try and sneak a bottle in on the odd night so Owen and feed Sam and I can sleep...

Now playing in a belly near you...

Well…I am writing to share our“Belly” play list with all of you. Last night, for the first time, we put the headphones on the belly and played some music for Sam. This is the rough play list Owen threw together and he says we will be refining it this week. Of course, none of MY songs are on it yet! And I haven’t even heard all of these songs either.

Little Martha – The Allman Brothers*
God Only Knows – The Beach Boys
Lullaby (Good Night, My Angel) – Billy Joel
My Sweet Lord – Billy Preston
Overkill – Colin Hay*
Lodi – Credence Clearwater Revival
Your Song – Elton John*
If Not For You – George Harrison
Carolina in My Mind – James Taylor
I’ll See You In My Dreams – Joe Brown
Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) – John Lennon
If I Had a Boat – Lyle Lovett
I’m the Fool – Mark Knopfler*
Have Love Will Travel – Tom Petty
You Took My Breath Away – The Traveling Wilburies
City of New Orleans – Willie Nelson

I put an asterisk next to the ones Sam kicked during. We’re not sure if that means he liked them, or he didn’t like them or maybe he just had to wiggle a little (after all, he got half his DNA from his dad!). I’m sure as we conduct further research, I will have more solid data to report. He also kicked a whole bunch when the music was over. All in all, it was very interesting and Owen found it both fascinating and exciting. He wanted a report of every single kick.

Also, Sam crossed the 30-week mark on Sunday. Time is absolutely flying by! We had our first shower on Saturday and received several thoughtful and fantastic gifts! Unfortunately, a bad storm kept the U.P. contingency at home and we all really missed seeing them – we were looking forward to the visit!

I’m proclaiming a general “thanks” to any readers who attended here, but will also send thank you notes via snail mail this week. I wanted to especially thank Emily and Cathy for all their time and hard work in putting the shower on, and also to thank Joe and Becky for hosting it at their house. And thanks to Sara for being there to help out as well. You’re all good people and Sam and I (and Owen) are lucky to have you.

"Look Honey! Magic beans!"

This year, among the other goodies in my stocking, I was lucky enough to receive a Magic Sproutz Secret Fortune in my stocking. It’s a can filled with a dirt-like substance (that is sort of sparkly for some mysterious reason) that you water once a week in the hopes that a plant will sprout and reveal a secret fortune.

I decided to take mine to work and put it on my windowsill there because it gets more sunlight than any at home. I followed the instructions, watering my can about once a week. Now, according to the can, the message should appear “after about a week.” Granted, sunshine is pretty hard to come by up here this time of year, so I can’t really fault them for the fact that it took a month.

Eventually it did sprout, and yet there was no magical appearance of any secret message. “Maybe I have to wait for the leaves to come out,” I thought to myself. Nope…the leaves came out and the bean began to turn some rotty brown color.

Yesterday, I was giving it a close inspection, trying to determine whether I ought to just toss it, as the brown bean thing is pretty gross looking when lo and behold, there is my message! It is a smudgy, burnt-looking thing that says (drum roll….) “long life.”

Um…I beg your pardon? “Long life?” How is that to be in any way, shape or form construed as a “fortune” exactly? It consists of exactly one noun (life) and one modifier (long). Though it makes the cut as a “phrase” on a technicality (it would be a noun phrase), it does not even qualify as a freaking clause, for crying out loud! It’s just a noun! “Long life” what? I will have one? What about them? Do they suck because everybody dies before you? Are they awesome? What is my WHOLE message? What kernel of knowledge am I totally missing here? Oh the agony…

Damn Owen and his magic beans…