Oh…My…God. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod. I’M PREGNANT!!! I found out on Friday afternoon. After all the pain, all the stress, all the heartache we’re finally there…almost. We’ll be there come the end of April. But still….we’re on our way. Hey, next time I complain about a $112.00 case management fee, somebody smack me. It beats the heck out of the $10,000 - $15,000 for IVF, which the first doctor told me I needed.
So…it occurred to me as I drove home on Friday that there is actually something living inside me now. This blows my mind. Completely. After trying for so long…going through so much….and never knowing if we would ever get here, I think it still hasn’t really sunk in yet. The fact that it could be twins (there were two eggs this month) is so far out there my little brain can’t even make sense of it.
But…I am worried already. Because we’ve gone through so much to get here, there is a huge part of me that can’t quite believe it still. On Friday afternoon I kept expecting them to call me and tell me that either they had read the results incorrectly or that they had given me somebody else’s results. I had more blood drawn this morning, and I am filled with anxiety about the results….that it will have all been wrong or something. I am terrified with every cramp (of which there seem to be a few these days) it is an ectopic pregnancy or a blighted egg. And, because I am at a higher risk for miscarriage, I am really really nervous about that. I’m a little ticked that I can’t see the doctor until next week. I home I’m not this worried the whole time…
For us this news is huge. Not only have we achieved what we have struggled for the last two years, but we did it without IVF. We had always wanted more than one child. If we had required IVF to get pregnant, it would have means one…maybe. If the IVF had failed, then it would have been none, since there’s no way we could have afforded to do it more than once. Twice at the very most.
So there you have it…our news. If you want to read Owen’s take on it, check out his blog at www.getspiked.blogspot.com